IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

The plans below show a student accommodation buildings 2010 and now.

#plans #show #student #accommodation #buildings
The following plans illustrate changes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 particular student accommodation
buildings
Fix the agreement mistake
building
show examples
 between 2010 and now.
Overall
, it can be clearly observed that there are
are
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
some introductions and changes
such
 as parking lot, extra
bedroom
, en-suite
room
, and social area.
However
, it is interesting to note that recent plans did not change much
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
 with its original layout. In 2010, the building was surrounded
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
garden
Correct article usage
a garden
show examples
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 both
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
show examples
. At the bottom end of the plan, the main entrances to
left
Correct article usage
the left
show examples
leading
Replace the word
lead
show examples
 students with a u-shape like
hallway
Change the article
a hallway
show examples
. There are three student bedrooms
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
located in three different locations, one was next to the main entrance,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
 others were at both
corner
Fix the agreement mistake
corners
show examples
 on the right.
Moreover
, other facilities
also
Add a missing verb
are also
show examples
 provided
such
 as
living
Correct article usage
a living
show examples
room
,
bathroom
abd
Correct your spelling
and
 kitchen. The
bathroom
situated
Add a missing verb
was situated
show examples
 in the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of the building,
while
living
Correct article usage
the living
show examples
room
 and kitchen were at the north and east of the
bathroom
, respectively. Nowadays, in order to match
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the rise of students, an extra
bedroom
along with
en-suite
Correct article usage
an en-suite
show examples
room
 is added to
map
Correct article usage
the map
show examples
.
In addition
, a newly built
bedroom
 is on the top left corner of the building,
whereas
 the ensuite is at the southeast of the
bathroom
. The living
room
 is removed and turned into a
bedroom
instead
.
As a consequence
, the kitchen now become an area for both cooking and socializing for the students.
Also
, the garden at the bottom of the map
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 a parking area which
lied
Replace the word
lay
show examples
 across the south of the building.
Submitted by kamonluck1999 on

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grammatical accuracy
Ensure to check for smaller grammatical errors and typos to enhance the clarity of the essay (e.g., 'there are are' should be 'there are', 'an particular' should be 'a particular', and 'abd' should be 'and').
task achievement
Add more specific details about the changes and how they impact the overall function and aesthetics of the building to enrich the task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
Sometimes rephrasing for variety and to avoid repetition can help improve the coherence and fluency of your writing. For example, instead of using 'recent plans' consider saying 'the latest layout' to avoid redundancy.
structure
The essay contains a clear and structured overview with an appropriate introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Key changes between the student accommodation in 2010 and now are well-identified and generally well-explained.
coherence cohesion
Overall, the essay follows a logical structure and presents a coherent narrative of the changes made.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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