IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The plans below show a student accommodation buildings 2010 and now.

#plans #show #student #accommodation #buildings
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The following plans illustrate changes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
an
Change the article
a
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 particular student accommodation
buildings
Fix the agreement mistake
building
show examples
 between 2010 and now.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly observed that there are
are
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
some introductions and changes
such
Linking Words
 as parking lot, extra
bedroom
Use synonyms
, en-suite
room
Use synonyms
, and social area.
However
Linking Words
, it is interesting to note that recent plans did not change much
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
 with its original layout. In 2010, the building was surrounded
with
Change preposition
by
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garden
Correct article usage
a garden
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at
Change preposition
on
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 both
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
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. At the bottom end of the plan, the main entrances to
left
Correct article usage
the left
show examples
leading
Replace the word
lead
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 students with a u-shape like
hallway
Change the article
a hallway
show examples
. There are three student bedrooms
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
located in three different locations, one was next to the main entrance,
the
Correct word choice
and the
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 others were at both
corner
Fix the agreement mistake
corners
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 on the right.
Moreover
Linking Words
, other facilities
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
are also
show examples
 provided
such
Linking Words
 as
living
Correct article usage
a living
show examples
room
Use synonyms
,
bathroom
Use synonyms
abd
Correct your spelling
and
 kitchen. The
bathroom
Use synonyms
situated
Add a missing verb
was situated
show examples
 in the
center
Change the spelling
centre
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 of the building,
while
Linking Words
living
Correct article usage
the living
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room
Use synonyms
 and kitchen were at the north and east of the
bathroom
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, respectively. Nowadays, in order to match
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the rise of students, an extra
bedroom
Use synonyms
along with
Linking Words
en-suite
Correct article usage
an en-suite
show examples
room
Use synonyms
 is added to
map
Correct article usage
the map
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, a newly built
bedroom
Use synonyms
 is on the top left corner of the building,
whereas
Linking Words
 the ensuite is at the southeast of the
bathroom
Use synonyms
. The living
room
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 is removed and turned into a
bedroom
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
.
As a consequence
Linking Words
, the kitchen now become an area for both cooking and socializing for the students.
Also
Linking Words
, the garden at the bottom of the map
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 a parking area which
lied
Replace the word
lay
show examples
 across the south of the building.
Submitted by kamonluck1999 on

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grammatical accuracy
Ensure to check for smaller grammatical errors and typos to enhance the clarity of the essay (e.g., 'there are are' should be 'there are', 'an particular' should be 'a particular', and 'abd' should be 'and').
task achievement
Add more specific details about the changes and how they impact the overall function and aesthetics of the building to enrich the task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
Sometimes rephrasing for variety and to avoid repetition can help improve the coherence and fluency of your writing. For example, instead of using 'recent plans' consider saying 'the latest layout' to avoid redundancy.
structure
The essay contains a clear and structured overview with an appropriate introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Key changes between the student accommodation in 2010 and now are well-identified and generally well-explained.
coherence cohesion
Overall, the essay follows a logical structure and presents a coherent narrative of the changes made.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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