In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?
In some nations
university
students
choose to live at home with their family
throughout their Fix the agreement mistake
families
education
, on the other hand
, in some come countries many students
prefer to go to different cities
for university
. Although
there are a few negatives associated with preferring to study in another
Replace the adjective
another city
other cities
cities
, I feel that the possible benefits would be far more considerable.
Choosing to live with family during education
leads lack of self-confidence in many students
. Nonetheless
, they try to be independent, whereas
they usually cannot be successful in Correct word choice
but
this
since their families have
still want to control them. Unnecessary verb
apply
For instance
, students
cannot organize a party as their families do not accept this
. Regarding, last
month one of my friend
, who lives Fix the agreement mistake
friends
in
with his family, tried to organize Change preposition
apply
one
party for his birthday at home but his family did not accept Correct determiner usage
a
this
, therefore
he used my home.
It is clear that
studying in different cities
has so many advantages although
there are a few drawbacks. Furthermore
, students
learn how they can be prepared to
real life in that they will have many new responsibilities during their Change preposition
for
education
life in university
far away Add an article
a university
their
parents. In my experience, two years ago I Change preposition
from their
have
studied Unnecessary verb
apply
to
the UK for Change preposition
in
education
and I have
realised living abroad Unnecessary verb
apply
have
taught me many essential things like preparing Correct subject-verb agreement
has
foods
, Fix the agreement mistake
food
cleaning
my stuff by myself. Correct word choice
and cleaning
Additionally
, going to different cities
or abroad provide
many experiences to Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
students
. Meanwhile, they can be intercultural
person because in abroad and Add an article
an intercultural
countryside
or Correct article usage
the countryside
cities
local people have different interesting cultures. For example
, if you are British and you study in London you can meet with many individuals, who have so different cultures than you.
To conclude
, some people during their university
education
choose to live with their family, but the
others prefer to go to different Correct article usage
apply
cities
, as I explained my side that studying in diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
cities
has more merits. Hopefully, in the future many university
students
can
have Verb problem
will
this
opportunity like me.Submitted by burakinancerturac on
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coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas more clearly. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, and supporting details should be logically grouped around it. Also, avoid repetitive ideas.
coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
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task achievement
You have effectively discussed both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your language is generally clear and you have used a variety of vocabulary and sentence structures.
coherence cohesion
Your writing has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which demonstrates good organizational skills.
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