IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given line chart depicts data about the proportion of urban population in four Asian countries over a 70-year period, starting from 1970 to the projected 2040. At first glance, it is visible that all countries experienced an upward tendency. Notably, in 1970,
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 had the outnumbered
figure
Use synonyms
 among all of the remaining regions. In 1970,
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 had the highest
figure
Use synonyms
, and Malaysia was the second-highest, their number
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 32% and 30% respectively. With
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
, it
gone
Add a missing verb
has gone
show examples
 up minimally and after 1990, it started to have a modest fluctuation to reach under 50% by 2040, it is expected to
increased
Change the verb
increase
show examples
 back to approximately 52% by 2040. As for Malaysia, people who live in metropolitan in
this
Linking Words
 country saw a dramatic rise, surpassing
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 at around 48% in 1991, and having a prediction to continue rising to reach over 80% by 2040.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, regarding the lowest
figure
Use synonyms
 of the graph, specifically the Indonesia. The urban
recidency
Correct your spelling
residency
 rate in Indonesia underwent
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
dramatic growth, surpassing Thailand at 28% in 2000 and
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 at roughly 42% in 2010.
Moreover
Linking Words
, with a prediction, individuals believe that it will reach about 60% by 2040, being the second-highest
figure
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, the rate of people living in Thailand's cities
climb
Wrong verb form
climbed
show examples
 slightly to under 30%
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but almost
retain
Correct your spelling
remain
show examples
 unaltered until 2020, interestingly, it is projected to reach nearly 50% by 2040.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words philippines, figure with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "dramatic" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: