You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six-year-old child. Write a letter to the parents. In your letter " Explain why you would like the job " give details of why you would be a suitable person to employ ,. say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia

#advertisement #australian #magazine #someone #six #months #child #parents #job #person #time #australia

Dear Mam, I am writing to let you know that I came across an advertisement published in a magazine in Australia. I have a huge interest in starting

this

job.

Firstly

this

job destination is not far away from my home. I can easily commute in winter and reach out on time.

Secondly

, you are given a great opportunity for a higher salary per week. I could manage my all expenses with

this

pay,

as well as

I can help my family with finances.

Moreover

, dental and life insurance are other benefits that would be provided. I completed my studies in a two-year childcare program in Canada I have

also

three years of experience here in a Child care home. I possess all the qualifications and experiences that

this

job seeks. I am coming to Australia for one year next week as well. I would to spend my free time with your family and have fun at different destinations. These spots are very energetic and give freshness to the mind. Thank you for your consideration. I will look forward to your response. Yours faithfully, Parjit Kaur

Submitted by neetpunar on Tue Jan 02 2024

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greeting and closing

The letter should start with a more appropriate greeting, such as 'Dear Sir/Madam,' as you are writing to someone whose name you do not know and you are applying for a job.

single idea per paragraph

Each paragraph should focus on a single idea, and the ideas should be clearly separated. The second paragraph merges different ideas, such as job benefits and your ability to commute. Try to have a more structured approach with separate paragraphs for each point you want to address.

complete response

The letter should directly address the points mentioned in the task - your reasons for wanting the job, why you would be suitable, and how you plan to spend your free time. Make sure your letter covers these points clearly.

logical structure

Maintain a logical structure throughout your response with clear and concise information flow. The paragraphs should logically follow one another, which will help the reader understand your points better.

The Closing

The style of the letter determine how you have to close it.

Check out the suggested closing sentences for each type of letter in the General IELTS Test. The closing sentence should be the last sentence of your letter.

Formal style (To someone you have not met, whose name you don’t know)

Yours faithfully,

Semi-formal (To someone you may or may not have met, whose last name you know)

Yours sincerely,

Informal (To someone you know well, whose first name you know and use)

Best regards,
Warm wishes,

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

186 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Childcare, Nurturing, Patience, Creativity, Early childhood development
Babysitting, Au pair, Engaging, Responsible, Enthusiastic
Safety, Trustworthy, Adaptability, Proactive, Cultural exchange
Activities, Educational games, Language skills, Exploring
Volunteering, Community involvement, Australian culture
Flexibility, Personal traits, Schedule, Enrichment

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The Closing

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