Some schools are very strict about their school uniforms and the appearance of their pupil, while other schools have a very relaxed dress code. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children of having a school uniform?
These days, Everything changing in the world like rules at schools. As I just
have
graduated person from university, I just realised how were the rules when we were studying during my study term.
Unnecessary verb
apply
Current
world system Correct article usage
The current
force
you to judge people Change the verb form
forces
how
they Change preposition
by how
looking
. Because of Wrong verb form
look
this
, every school
has own
rules about dressing.
If you ask my opinion, Correct pronoun usage
its own
i
would say, uniforms Change the capitalization
I
has
to be used at schools. Change the verb form
have
Because when
you Correct word choice
When
dress
a
uniform, you feel Change preposition
in a
like
more Change preposition
apply
focusing
on your lessons. Replace the word
focused
Also
every family not have
Verb problem
has
equal
economic Correct article usage
an equal
situations
. If we think we are Fix the agreement mistake
situation
studing
at Correct your spelling
studying
standing
school
which has Correct article usage
a school
relaxed
Correct article usage
a relaxed
dress
code,
when a student Remove the comma
apply
dress
Change the verb form
dresses
different
clothes Change preposition
in different
everyday
, the other one might not be has Replace the word
every day
a
more clothes to changeCorrect the article-noun agreement
apply
.
Change preposition
into.
Thats
why Correct your spelling
That's
this
situation may show the unequality
between students.
Correct your spelling
inequality
Abselotely
dressing uniform all day for Correct your spelling
Absolutely
student
is not comfortable when they want to go to Add an article
a student
the student
school
with bycle
Correct your spelling
bicycle
,
when they want to play something at Remove the comma
apply
school
.
To
conclusion, let them everyone how they feel good what they Change preposition
In
dress
. Please dont
judge people Correct your spelling
don't
with
their appearance.
Thanks.Change preposition
by
Submitted by phanphetpor on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
The response addresses the task but could be more detailed in presenting both the advantages and disadvantages of school uniforms. Consider elaborating on both the points to provide a more balanced view and to ensure a complete response.
task achievement
Make sure your ideas are clearly expressed and fully developed. Currently, some ideas are present but not fully explained. Adding more details and providing clear examples for each point will help strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Try to organize your thoughts logically. The essay lacks a clear structure and can be more comprehensively organized. Introduce each idea clearly, and make sure they flow smoothly from one to the next. Using connectors like 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' and 'Finally' can help in achieving this.
coherence cohesion
Although an introduction and conclusion are present, try to make the introduction more engaging and the conclusion more comprehensive by restating the main points discussed in the essay.
task achievement
Good attempt at presenting your opinion and providing a personal perspective. This helps in making your essay more relatable.
task achievement
Shows a sincere effort in addressing both sides of the argument, which is commendable.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.