Some schools are very strict about their school uniforms and the appearance of their pupil, while other schools have a very relaxed dress code. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children of having a school uniform?
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic → Introduction
These days, Everything changing in the world like rules at schools. As I just
have Unnecessary verb
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graduated person from university, I just realised how were the rules when we were studying during my study term.
Body paragraph 1
CurrentCorrect article usage
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world system
forceChange the verb form
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you to judge people
howChange preposition
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they
lookingWrong verb form
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. Because of
, every
has
ownCorrect pronoun usage
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rules about dressing.
Body paragraph 2
If you ask my opinion,
iChange the capitalization
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would say, uniforms
hasChange the verb form
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to be used at schools.
Because whenCorrect word choice
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you
a Change preposition
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uniform, you feel
like Change preposition
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more
focusingReplace the word
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on your lessons.
every family
not haveVerb problem
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equalCorrect article usage
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economic
situationsFix the agreement mistake
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. If we think we are
at
schoolCorrect article usage
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which has
relaxedCorrect article usage
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code
,Remove the comma
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when a student
dressChange the verb form
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differentChange preposition
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clothes
everydayReplace the word
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, the other one might not be has
a Correct the article-noun agreement
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more clothes to change
.Change preposition
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ThatsCorrect your spelling
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why
situation may show the
between students.
Body paragraph 3
dressing uniform all day for
studentAdd an article
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is not comfortable when they want to go to
with
,Remove the comma
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when they want to play something at
.
Body paragraph 4
ToChange preposition
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conclusion, let them everyone how they feel good what they
. Please
judge people
withChange preposition
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their appearance.
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The response addresses the task but could be more detailed in presenting both the advantages and disadvantages of school uniforms. Consider elaborating on both the points to provide a more balanced view and to ensure a complete response.
Make sure your ideas are clearly expressed and fully developed. Currently, some ideas are present but not fully explained. Adding more details and providing clear examples for each point will help strengthen your arguments.
Try to organize your thoughts logically. The essay lacks a clear structure and can be more comprehensively organized. Introduce each idea clearly, and make sure they flow smoothly from one to the next. Using connectors like 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' and 'Finally' can help in achieving this.
Although an introduction and conclusion are present, try to make the introduction more engaging and the conclusion more comprehensive by restating the main points discussed in the essay.
Good attempt at presenting your opinion and providing a personal perspective. This helps in making your essay more relatable.
Shows a sincere effort in addressing both sides of the argument, which is commendable.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.