Some people say that what individuals do to protect cannot make difference, others say that individuals can protect environment. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

#people #individuals #difference #environment

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

recent years, protecting

ecosystem

Correct article usage

the ecosystem

show examples

Wrong verb form

has been

show examples

a topic of concern. Some individuals opine that humans cannot save

the

Change the word

their

show examples

surroundings others are against it.

However

, I believe that people can protect the environment with some measures like

limit

Wrong verb form

limiting

show examples

to use

natural

Change preposition

of natural

show examples

resources

, and by creating

awarness

Correct your spelling

awareness

. In the upcoming paragraphs, I will discuss both

phenomenon

Change to a plural noun

phenomena

show examples

. To commence with, it took years to produce natural

resources

such

as coal and oil. It does not matter if people start saving these they will be extinct one day. They are non-renowned

resources

. That's why it is said that

saveguarding

Correct your spelling

safeguarding

them

doesnot

Correct your spelling

does not

doesn't

have any impact in real.

For example

, from a

study

Add a comma

study,

show examples

it is seen that electric cars are invented but

this

does not make any difference in the demand

Change preposition

for

show examples

oil and coal.

Moreover

nation

Add an article

a nation

the nation

show examples

can protect the

natual

Correct your spelling

natural

resources

that are water, trees and land. If they start using in a limit. In

adition

Correct your spelling

addition

this

awarness

Correct your spelling

awareness

camps can be started so that everyone can know the importance of

natural

Correct article usage

the natural

show examples

gifts we have. Schools can educate students and encourage them to plant a tree on their birthdays. Technically, these all measures can play a role to

protet

Correct your spelling

protect

the ecology.

For example

, in the United arab emirate there are fines

to cut

Change preposition

for cutting

show examples

trees and waste water which is a great

initative

Correct your spelling

initiative

to manage them. In conclusion,

topic

Add an article

the topic

show examples

environment

Replace the word

environmental

show examples

protection is everywhere and everyone is watching the role of

humankinds

Correct your spelling

humankind

in both positive and negative ways.

Hence

, I believe that citizens can

assit

Correct your spelling

assist

Change preposition

show examples

protect

Replace the word

protection

show examples

if they stop unlimited uses and start

campaions

Correct your spelling

campaigns

. The result will

be benefit

Change the verb form

benefit

show examples

them in the upcoming years.

Submitted by sunnytalwan065 on Fri Jul 26 2024

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clarity

Some sentences are slightly unclear and could be rephrased for better clarity.For example, Instead of 'It does not matter if people start saving these they will be extinct one day,' consider 'Regardless of attempts to conserve them, these resources will eventually be exhausted.'

cohesion

Consider using more transition words and phrases to improve the flow of the essay. This will assist in guiding the reader through your arguments smoothly and logically.

accuracy

Avoid minor spelling errors like 'adition' instead of 'addition.' Proofreading the essay can help to spot these errors.

structure

The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively setting the stage for the argument and summarizing the points discussed.

support

The use of real-world examples, such as the fines in the United Arab Emirates, adds credibility to your arguments and shows practical implications.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

270 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

eco-friendly
collective impact
grassroots movements
systemic changes
sustainable products
environmental degradation
coordinated actions
policy changes
environmental-friendly policies
advocacy efforts

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Some people say that what individuals do to protect cannot make difference, others say that individuals can protect environment. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, only few young people go to classical music concerts or or play classical music. Why? Should young people be encouraged to attend and learn more?

Crime rate in most countries is often higher in urban areas than rural areas. What are the causes and solutions?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?