IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You have been working for a company for more than a few years, and now have decided to leave the company.Write a letter to your company manager saying that you want to leave the company.In your letter explain What you have learned while working for the company Whether you enjoyed working there Why are you leaving

#company #years #manager
Dear Manager I have been
Change the verb form
working
worked
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work
Add the preposition
work for
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 our company since I graduated the university. It already
passed whole
Verb problem
been
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 eight years. Of course, I started from internship
until
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as
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supervisor
Correct article usage
a supervisor
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. Our company gave me a lot of experience during working time. I would like to say, really appreciate our colleague's help. Because
of
Correct pronoun usage
of this
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, when I
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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enrolled
this
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on this
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 organisation I didn't know how to executive some tasks and performance. So my team was pretty nicer than
others
Correct article usage
the others
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. They always taught me everything for friendly. Sometimes, I
did
Verb problem
made
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 a mistake, they could forgive
and
Correct pronoun usage
me and
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 give me
anoter oppurtinuty
Correct your spelling
another opportunity
.
Such
 as, I missed a customer
for
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of
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 my bad attention,
then
 my
co worker
Add a hyphen
co-worker
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 knew immediately,
he
Correct word choice
and he
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suggest
Wrong verb form
suggested
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me
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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another chance. I was a little
embarrased
Correct your spelling
embarrassed
. But my companion forgave me.
However
, I have a lot of suitable
chance
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chances
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 in
this
 firm,
I
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so I
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decided to leave our company next
mont
Correct your spelling
month
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, indeed I applied to University for
graduate
Add an article
a graduate
the graduate
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 degree. I have to improve my education. So thank you for
friendship
Correct pronoun usage
your friendship
show examples
.
Submitted by nbogey777 on

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greeting and closing
Be sure to add a closing statement and a formal sign-off to make the letter complete.
logical structure
Although the letter flows well, it can benefit from slightly more logical organization. For instance, merging sentences within paragraphs can strengthen the coherence.
logical structure
The content is generally well-organized into paragraphs, highlighting different aspects such as experience, emotional connection, and reason for leaving.
suitable writing tone
The tone is respectful and professional throughout the letter, which is suitable for this kind of communication.
complete response
Clear and specific examples are provided to illustrate points, like how colleagues helped or instances of learning from mistakes.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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