Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, howevr, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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There is no doubt that
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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days to teach
a
Correct article usage
apply
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childern
Correct your spelling
children
child
how to be
members
in
Change preposition
of
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society
. The question is, why
parents
needs
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need
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to put
children
with
society
.
Change the punctuation
?
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In
this
essay
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essay,
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I am going to
taking
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take
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why it is important to put
children
with all
societys
Correct your spelling
societies
society
and
Correct word choice
apply
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rather than learn in
school
how to be good
members
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
society
. In terms of advantage, it is important
to
Change preposition
for
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any
parents
put
Fix the infinitive
to put
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the
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their
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childrens
Correct your spelling
children
children's
withe
Correct your spelling
with
show examples
society
it benefits
for
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apply
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all the
children
. The main reason given to support
this
claim is that most
childrens
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children
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they
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apply
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don'
t
now
Correct your spelling
know
show examples
how to be better
members
in
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of
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society
and
good
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are good
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because
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
don'
t
have
Any
Fix capitalization
any
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experience. To illustrate
for example
if you
but
Correct your spelling
put
show examples
any child
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
society
he
don'
Correct subject-verb agreement
doesn't
show examples
t
no
Correct your spelling
know
show examples
how to but impact like all people in the
society
.
However
many
parents
think
about
Change preposition
apply
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the
school
should
to learn
Verb problem
teach
show examples
all the students
how
Correct word choice
what
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to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
members
looks
Correct subject-verb agreement
look
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like.
First,
the
school
the don'
Wrong verb form
doesn't
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t
focus abut
members
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
society
it is all about how
be
Add the particle
to be
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good
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
subject
Correct article usage
a subject
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not
members
.
in
Correct word choice
apply
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secondly
all the
school
don'
t
needs
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need
show examples
to learn about how to be
member
Add an article
a member
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
society
this
is because she
focus
Change the verb form
focuses
show examples
about
Change preposition
on
show examples
how to be better in subject and to be intelligent like all students in
school
. In
conclusion
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conclusion,
show examples
although
many
parents
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
don'
t
the
school
don'
t
learn
Verb problem
teach
show examples
this
thinks just subject,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
all the
parents
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
don'
t
Ihave
Correct your spelling
Have
any skills to teach
children
Correct pronoun usage
their children
show examples
.
Therefor i
Correct your spelling
Therefore I
believe
that is
so important to teach all
children
how to be Amazing
members
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
all
society
Fix the agreement mistake
societies
show examples
in
this
world which gives
him
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
good experience and
gives
Verb problem
has
show examples
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
impact for the
societyies
Correct your spelling
societies
society
. The conclusion
it
Remove the pronoun
apply
show examples
is evident that
to learn
Verb problem
teaching
show examples
all
children
how gives
impact
Correct subject-verb agreement
impacts
show examples
and
Educate
Correct subject-verb agreement
Educates
show examples
them Must ensure steps are to prevent
this
phenomenon from deteriorating future
Submitted by rwf45230 on

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grammar
Work on grammatical accuracy. There are several grammatical errors that impede understanding, such as incorrect verb forms and prepositions. Consider studying basic grammar rules and practicing writing correctly structured sentences.
writing
Improve sentence structure and variety. The essay has many repetitive sentences and lacks a variety of complex sentence structures. Try to incorporate different types of sentences, such as compound and complex sentences, to make your writing more engaging.
examples
Use more specific examples to support your arguments. In the body paragraphs, the points made are quite general. Providing more detailed and specific examples can help to clearly illustrate your points and strengthen your argument.
task response
You've addressed both views and given your own opinion. This shows a clear understanding of the task requirements, which is crucial for Task Achievement.
structure
Your essay has an introduction and conclusion, which helps to give the reader a sense of what to expect and ties your arguments together.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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