Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some
people
believe that young people
should invest their time
in education
fully before they reach 18 years old. I agree to
Change preposition
with
this
statement to some extent because of the time
needed for brain developement
, social skill enhancement, and maturity to Correct your spelling
development
choise
a proper Correct your spelling
choose
career
that full
Add a hyphen
full-time
time
education
can provide.
It may require time
to develop a person's cognitive capability, socialization and right career
path. Firstly
, some people
think that schooling can teach problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
skills
. Thus
, it can increase the
thinking power and may Correct article usage
apply
enhace
creativity. Correct your spelling
enhance
Moreover
, social skill developement
is another crucial factor. When a person goes to school, he/she has to encounter with other pupils. Not only that, there could be some Correct your spelling
development
assignment
that may need group work. Fix the agreement mistake
assignments
Hence
, they learn how to communicate and to
solve the problem together. Fix the infinitive
apply
This
factor can immensely improve their social skills
. Secondly
, ultil
18, a person is not Correct your spelling
until
util
matured
enough to decide what is best to choose as a Replace the word
mature
career
. It is because,
Remove the comma
apply
education
system deals with Correct article usage
the education
career
choise
and they teach subjects related to Correct your spelling
choice
this
. On an important note, if someone want
to pass Change the verb form
wants
highschool
, usually it requires full Correct your spelling
high school
time
of study. Therefore
, without endulging
full Correct your spelling
indulging
time
, one might not pass and get the desired job. Even though there are plenty of jobs for high school dropouts, but usually they are very low paid
simply because they may not require any particular Add a hyphen
low-paid
skills
.
However
, full
Add a hyphen
full-time
time
education
may not make an expert in something. It is because,
Remove the comma
apply
education
system is not designed in Add an article
the education
such
a way mostly. Usually, it teaches variety
of subjects until university. And to pass a university may take more than 18 years of age. Add an article
a variety
Moreover
, this
modern world do
not want university graduates without Change the verb form
does
skills
. They rather prefer someone who is very skilled in something. Many people
believe that this
modern wolrd
is full with so much of Correct your spelling
world
high quality
free educational Add a hyphen
high-quality
contents
. They argue that anyone from anywhere in the world can learn anything without Fix the agreement mistake
content
necessarity
going to school and investing full Correct your spelling
necessarily
time
.
While
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
time
education
may not make someone an expert in something, it teaches social norms and help
Change the verb form
helps
developing
cognitive power and creativity, Wrong verb form
develop
that is
why I agree to
the statement to some extent.Change preposition
with
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coherence cohesion
Work on your logical structure to ensure your essay flows better. Organize your points clearly in separate paragraphs to improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to have a clear introduction that outlines your stance and a conclusion that summarizes your main points. This will give your essay a more complete feel.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and details to support your main points. This will make your arguments more compelling and relatable.
task achievement
Ensure that your ideas and points are expressed more clearly. Avoid overcomplicating sentences and focus on clarity.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt directly, expressing agreement with the statement to some extent, and touches upon key aspects of cognitive development, social skills, and career choice.
task achievement
There is a good effort to provide reasons and examples to support your viewpoint.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.