IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Teachers should not make their social or political views known to students in the classroom. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#teachers #students #classroom #support
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There should be
clear
Add an article
a clear
show examples
 gap between the personal life and the working life. I completely agree that educators should not display their own thoughts
infront
Correct your spelling
in front
 of their students, which are not related to their studies. In
this
 essay, I will explain some points to justify my opinion. First of all, the prime focus of the teachers should be on teaching
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their kids rather than pointing out their views in class. It can have
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
 bad influence on their mind.
For instance
, research shows that students are mostly influenced by their teacher's words and actions. So, if they say anything it will definitely
struck
Change the verb form
strike
be struck
show examples
 in the
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
 of the children.
Secondly
, the main goal of
instructor
Add an article
the instructor
show examples
 is to guide their kids towards
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
success by providing them with accurate and authentic knowledge, which will be beneficial for their future rather than discussing their own thoughts about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Moreover
, teacher are responsible
to keep
Change preposition
for keeping
show examples
 their young ones focused on their studies. So, if they explain their own thoughts without realizing their outcomes it can
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 the mindset of their children.
On the other hand
, if anything bad is happening in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society it is the responsibility of the tutors to guide their children through
right
Add an article
the right
show examples
 path.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 when any significant incident
happened
Wrong verb form
happens
show examples
 in the school or any visible change is going to occur in their institutions, it is the duty of their educator to provide them with their feedback. So that they can better judge the situation as kids only rely on their elders for proper guidance at
Correct article usage
a yound
show examples
yound
Correct your spelling
young
your
 age. In conclusion,
thus
, it depends on the situation that
weather
Correct your spelling
whether
show examples
 instructors should present their ideas
infront
Correct your spelling
in front
 of their class
on
Correct your spelling
or
show examples
 not. If it is for the
benefits
Fix the agreement mistake
benefit
show examples
 of their child
then
 they should discuss it with their younger ones.
Submitted by ijazwamiq on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Work on providing specific and relevant examples to strengthen your arguments. Consider illustrating your points with concrete scenarios or studies to make them more persuasive.
task achievement
Ensure that all your main ideas are thoroughly developed and clearly explained. This will help to create a more compelling and comprehensive argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of your essay by ensuring that each paragraph clearly supports your thesis statement. Use clear topic sentences and logical transitions to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a clear and cohesive structure throughout your essay. Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next, and that your introduction and conclusion are directly related to your main points.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your argument effectively.
task achievement
You have made an effort to address both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a balanced approach to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
    What to do next:
    Look at other essays: