People living in the 21st century have a better life quality than people who lived in previous times. to whta extent do you agree or disagree?
In modern
society
Add a comma
society,
people
have a better life than in previous times. Some community
disagree with Fix the agreement mistake
communities
this
statement, but I agree people
who live in Correct article usage
the twenty-first-century
twenty-first-century
have a Correct your spelling
twenty-first century
lot
of advantages such
as having a better education, healthcare
system Add an article
the healthcare
is
more mature, and there Wrong verb form
being
are
a Change the verb form
is
lot
of advanced technology
. In this
essay, I will discuss how people
who living
in present-day society Change the form of the verb
live
is
better than Correct subject-verb agreement
are
previous
times.
In the current era, most Change preposition
in previous
people
are having
a higher education compared to Wrong verb form
have
previous
year ago, Correct article usage
the previous
while
people
are
difficult to get an education. Nowadays, Verb problem
find it
people
can easily get a lot
of information from different sources, not only by
books. Not only that, everyone can learn anything from anywhere using their computer.
Change preposition
from
People
who living
in Change the form of the verb
live
21st
has Correct article usage
the 21st
experiencing
a Change the verb form
experienced
lot
benefits of Add the preposition
lot of
technology
such
as the fastness of the spread of information and easiness
of communication with others. In the present day, everyone can easily get information from mobile Correct article usage
the easiness
phone
, and Fix the agreement mistake
phones
also
could send each other messages, even though they are
live in different countries. Unnecessary verb
apply
Furthermore
, with technology
people
will be more effective and efficient with their activities, for instance
, nowadays people
can buy everything online which is not available back then
. Not only that, technology
in the healthcare system has developed a lot
and a bunch of diseases was
found by using Wrong verb form
have been
a
Remove the article
apply
technology
.
In conclusion, there are a lot
of advantages from
living in the state of Change preposition
to
art
, because Correct article usage
the art
from
the Change preposition
apply
technology
that we use today, it
has improved a Correct pronoun usage
apply
lot
of areas of our life
.Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Submitted by inekemargareta20 on
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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear stance and addresses the prompt effectively. However, providing more specific and diverse examples for each point would strengthen your argument. Including counterarguments and refuting them can also enhance your score.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. To improve coherence, ensure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next by using more transitional phrases. Additionally, avoid jumping between points, and ensure each paragraph is dedicated to a single idea.
task achievement
Review your grammar and sentence construction, especially with respect to subject-verb agreement and tense consistency. Polishing these areas will enhance readability and comprehension.
task achievement
Try to avoid over-reliance on generalizations by incorporating more precise and varied vocabulary. This will not only improve your language use but also the clarity of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen your main points with more detailed and specific examples. This will make your arguments more convincing and your essay more robust.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with a defined introduction and conclusion, which helps in establishing your position and summarizing your points effectively.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task and presents a clear stance, showing a good understanding of the topic.
task achievement
You have highlighted several key areas where the 21st century offers better quality of life, such as education and technology. This demonstrates a good basis for your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.