Many people believe that education and high qualification will bring success. Others think that it is not required to achieve success in life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many
people
think that
education
and high
qualitfication
Correct your spelling
qualification
qualifications
are significant keys to
success
in life. Meanwhile, others believe it is not. Indeed, if
people
want to
get
Verb problem
achieve
show examples
success
in
Correct pronoun usage
their career
show examples
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
or personal
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
,
education
and high quality are not the only
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
to achieve it. But,
education
is still important. At least, it
is makes
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
people
have a chance to
success
Replace the word
succeed
show examples
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
bigger. First
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
first,
education
makes
people
have a high quality as a
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
or workers. By having
education
Correct article usage
an education
show examples
, they will have hard and soft skills in their field.
For example
, one student really
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
to become
engineer
Add an article
an engineer
show examples
since childhood.
Then
, when he
is entering
Wrong verb form
entered
show examples
college, he chose
major
Correct article usage
a major
show examples
that related to engineering. Because he has
ability
Correct article usage
the ability
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, in the future he can pursue his dream because of his
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
show examples
. Not only that, but
also
education
can shape how
people
behave with their colleagues, have manners, and respect
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
those
show examples
who do not have
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
show examples
as them. So,
education
is essential
due to
it possible
people
Change preposition
for people
show examples
have
Fix the infinitive
to have
show examples
skills that encourage them to thrive in a positive way.
However
, it can not be denied that
people
still get their
success
outside
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
education
.
For instance
,
actrees
Correct your spelling
actress
and actors can
won
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win
be won
show examples
oscars
Change the capitalization
Oscars
show examples
without
need
Change the verb form
needing
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
proper
education
. Another example, influencers on social media just need to go viral and
then
they can achieve
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
success
in their career.
However
, highly crucial to
noted
Change the form of the verb
note
show examples
that
education
is not always a formal
education
but
also
an informal
education
to teach about the ways how to socialize with
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
and many else.
Therefore
, even though
education
in some parts
is not have
Change the verb form
does not have
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
control to make
people
success
Replace the word
successful
show examples
,
education
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
important
Correct article usage
an important
show examples
roles
Fix the agreement mistake
role
show examples
to make
Change preposition
in making
show examples
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
better in any path they choose to
success
Replace the word
succeed
show examples
.
To sum up
,
education
makes
chance
Add an article
a chance
the chance
show examples
for
people
to get their
success
more big. Yet, it
is not always work
Change the verb form
does not always work
show examples
like that.
As everyone
Correct word choice
Everyone
show examples
has their own ways
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
success
.
Nonetheless
,
education
is a good way to chase
dream
Correct article usage
a dream
show examples
become reality, which is
success
.
Submitted by wishmeluck  on

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lexical resource
Ensure accurate use of vocabulary. Some words and phrases can be refined for better clarity and appropriateness.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy. Some sentences exhibit incorrect tense usage and subject-verb agreement issues.
grammatical range accuracy
Use more diverse sentence structures to enhance overall readability and complexity.
task achievement
Provide more specific and varied examples to support the points made. The essay would benefit from a wider range of illustrations.
task achievement
Strengthen your main points with more detailed explanations and evidence to bolster your argument.
introduction
The introduction effectively presents both sides of the argument, setting up the discussion well.
task response
The essay attempts to cover both views, demonstrating an understanding of the prompt's requirements.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed, providing closure to the essay.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • structured knowledge
  • critical thinking skills
  • specialized training
  • access to better job opportunities
  • higher income potential
  • network with influential peers and mentors
  • intrinsic motivation
  • practical experience
  • personal talents
  • stifle creativity
  • entrepreneurial spirit
  • formal education
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