IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

MORE AND MORE STUDENTS ARE CHOSING TO STUDY AT COLLAGE OR UNIVERSITES ABOARD? TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE ?

#students #study #collage #universites
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
To a certain
extent
Add a comma
extent,
show examples
 I agree that studying
aboard
Rephrase
abroad
show examples
 provides some benefits for
Add an article
the student
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
.
However
, I
also
 believe that they face some drawbacks that we can not ignore. If
students
 study
aboard
Correct your spelling
abroad
show examples
, they can
persue
Correct your spelling
pursue
 their education at top-ranked
universites
Correct your spelling
universities
 which secure better
carrer
Correct your spelling
career
prospect
Fix the agreement mistake
prospects
show examples
for their life. By studying in a foreign country,
students
 get an international qualification degree which
allow
Change the verb form
allows
show examples
 them to work in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 perfect office that they want like Apple or
google
Capitalize word
Google
show examples
 company.
For example
, one of my friends who
stuided
Correct your spelling
studied
 at Berecly, one of the well-known
universites
Correct your spelling
universities
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
State
Fix the agreement mistake
States
show examples
,told me after his
graugation
Correct your spelling
graduation
 she worked at
apple
Capitalize word
Apple
show examples
 company since she got his
certifiaction
Correct your spelling
certification
 at berecky
university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
.
On the other hand
, it is not easy for all
students
 to follow their education
Change preposition
in at
show examples
at
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 international country
specifcly
Correct your spelling
specifically
 for
students
 who live in a
poor-family
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poor family
show examples
. These
familes
Correct your spelling
families
 earn less money than normal- families, so it is difficult for them to prepare some
iteams
Correct your spelling
items
 like a budget accommodation or flight ticket for their
students
.
Additionally
, all
students
 can not sustain
to live
Change the verb form
living
show examples
 in
different
Add an article
a different
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 country for a long time,
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
 situation not only do they get homesick, but
also
 they suffer from long
distance
Fix the agreement mistake
distances
show examples
 since they can not see their lovey
indivuals
Correct your spelling
individuals
 like their family.
For example
, two years ago, my sister was accepted
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Chicago to follow her education as a
Ph.D
Change the punctuation
PhD
show examples
 student in Machine learning;
however
, she did not decide to go there because she relied on family.
Therefore
, she
prefered
Correct your spelling
preferred
 to study
domestic
Change the word
domestically
show examples
 rather than
aboard
Correct your spelling
abroad
show examples
. In conclusion,
althogh
Correct your spelling
although
 studying
aboard
Correct your spelling
abroad
show examples
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
 some
oppurtunites
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 for
students
 like
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
 an
intenational
Correct your spelling
international
 certification degree, we can not ignore drawbaks
such
us
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
realibity
Correct your spelling
reality
 or
felling
Correct your spelling
feeling
show examples
 homesick.
Submitted by yektashahryari on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, make sure to use linking words and phrases correctly, and ensure that each paragraph flows logically to the next. For instance, words like 'therefore', 'however', and 'consequently' can be strategically used to better connect your ideas.
task achievement
Enhance the completeness of your responses by briefly exploring counterarguments. This will demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to your grammar and spelling. Although minor mistakes are acceptable, there were quite a few in your essay that could be avoided by proofreading.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and aligned with the overall prompt. This helps frame your argument well.
task achievement
You provided relevant specific examples which support your points effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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