It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money fortheir future.. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #money #fortheir #future

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It is believed by some

people

that saving

money

is crucial for everyone. l totally agree

Change preposition

with thisviewpoint

show examples

thisviewpoint

Correct your spelling

this viewpoint

. From my

perspectives

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perspective

show examples

, it is vital for

people

to deposit

money

, especially for

theyoung

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the young

young

people

People

are able to make

fully

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full

show examples

preparation of uncertain risks in the future using the

savedmoney

Correct your spelling

saved money

save money

. There may be lots of uncertain issues and accidents in

people

's lives,

such

Correct article usage

the theilness

show examples

theilness

Correct your spelling

the illness

of family members and the huge losses caused by the

earthguakes

Correct your spelling

earthquakes

earthquake

That is

whypeople

Correct your spelling

why people

should have enough deposited

money

to support their lives and deal

withdifficulties

Correct your spelling

with difficulties

when

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

unexpected problems occur.

For instance

, if

people

find their

familieswith

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families with

terrible diseases suddenly,

fully

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full

show examples

money

can make their families have the

essentialmedical

Correct your spelling

essential medical

treatments, which is the key to

cure

Wrong verb form

curing

show examples

themselves. Depositing

money

is beneficial to help

people

to avoid abusing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

money

uselessaspects

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useless aspects

. When

people

are young, owing to the lack of

fully

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full

show examples

self-control and

numerousappealing

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numerous appealing

advertisements,

people

easily waste

money

on worthless things without

carefuconsideration

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careful consideration

. So if

people

have the

ideas

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idea

show examples

of saving

money

, they can better control

theilbehaviors

Correct your spelling

their behaviours

and accumulate

money

to invest

their

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in their

show examples

future like cultivating a

meaningfuhobbies

Correct your spelling

hobbies

or buying

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

stocks. If

people

decide to have

baby

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a baby

show examples

, sufficient

money

is the key to

offer

Wrong verb form

offering

show examples

their kids wonderful

livesDuring

Correct your spelling

During

the growth of children, there are many situations that need plenty of

money

suchas

Correct your spelling

such as

baby clothes, baby toys and so on.

Therefore

, cultivating the hobbies of saving

moneycan

Correct your spelling

money can

money

aid

people

to relieve the stresses in the future. In a nutshell, saving

money

is significant for

people

to prepare for uncertainty, get

ride

Correct your spelling

rid

show examples

ofthe

Correct your spelling

of the

abuse of

money

and offer their kids better lives.

Submitted by zhaoruolin220 on Sat Jul 27 2024

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grammar

Improve grammatical accuracy to convey ideas more clearly. There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that can hinder understanding.

development

Expand on the main points with more detailed examples and analysis. This can help to provide a fuller answer and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.

sentence structure

Work on sentence variety and complexity. Currently, some sentences are overly simple or repetitive.

clarity

The essay presents a clear stance on the issue and adheres to it throughout the essay.

structure

The essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, making it easier for the reader to follow the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

266 words

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It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money fortheir future.. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

The percentage of overweight children in westrn society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years.

To what extent do you agree that the men and women should do the same job as each other.