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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The maps below show a bookstore in 2000 and now. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The maps below show a bookstore in 2000 and now. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The given map illustrates the changes that have been made
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
bookstore
Use synonyms
 from 2000 to
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
 day. The
bookstore
Use synonyms
 in 2000 presented a number of book
section
Fix the agreement mistake
sections
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, right in front of the entrance could be found the travel and the new
books
Use synonyms
sections
Use synonyms
 and in
left
Add an article
the left
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 corner you notice the fiction
books
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 in the right corner there is the service desk.
Also
Linking Words
 in the center of the
Use synonyms
bookstore
Add a comma
bookstore,
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 you would find the art, hobbies, and cookery book
sections
Use synonyms
. It can be seen now that the
bookstore
Use synonyms
make
Wrong verb form
made
show examples
 some improvements, one of them was to remove the
sections
Use synonyms
 that could be found in the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 and replace them with tables,
while
Linking Words
 the art, hobbies, and cookery
books
Use synonyms
 were placed next
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 fiction section. Over the period the non-fiction area has turned into a cafe shop,
whereas
Linking Words
 the service desk
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the travel
books
Use synonyms
 and the new
books
Use synonyms
sections
Use synonyms
 remained in the same place as no changes
where
Correct your spelling
were
show examples
 made there.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words bookstore, books, sections with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "present" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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