Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Some would say that
parents
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should teach their
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
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how to be good
members
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of
society
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,
while
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others are of the opinion that
school
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is the best in
this
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regard.
This
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essay agrees with the latter, despite
parents
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can give
the
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apply
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practical
experiences
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their
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to their
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children
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,
school
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lessons
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can give insights
what
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into what
show examples
it takes to be good citizens. Some believe that
parents
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can educate their
children
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about being good
members
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of
society
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based on their life
experiences
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.
This
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is because the life
experiences
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that
parents
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can give their
children
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are straightforward and so they can easily apply what their
parents
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teach them in reality.
For example
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, many
children
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in
Korean
Correct your spelling
Korea
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become more polite, honest, and caring to everyone as a direct result of the practical
lessons
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that their
parents
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give them at home.
However
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, I believe that
parents
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now are so busy and do not spend much time with their
children
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teaching them.
The others
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Others
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insist that
lessons
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at
school
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can provide
children
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with valuable insights into being good
members
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of
society
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. In class, students can receive
lessons
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about
different
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the different
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traits of a truly good person that
society
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needs, and
then
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they put what they learn into practice by creating real-life problems and solving them together.
For instance
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, after receiving
lessons
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in civic education at
school
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, many Korean students are more willing to help their
neighbors
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neighbours
show examples
and they feel extremely happy after doing something good for others.
For
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this
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reason, I believe that
school
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lessons
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are more influential to young
children
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. In conclusion, despite the practical
experiences
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that
parents
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can give their
children
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at home,
this
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essay believes that
school
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lessons
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can help students deepen their understanding of being good
members
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of
society
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by cmw9101 on

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task achievement
Ensure that your essay addresses both views more comprehensively. While you have mentioned both perspectives, expanding a bit more on the point where parents contribute would make your response even more balanced and thorough.
coherence cohesion
Work on seamless transitions between your ideas to improve the flow of your essay. For instance, adding more transitional phrases can help your reader follow your argument more easily.
coherence cohesion
Avoid minor grammatical errors to make your essay more polished. For example, "despite parents can give the practical experiences their children" should be "despite the fact that parents can give practical experiences to their children."
task achievement
You have provided clear and relevant examples to support your points, which strengthens your arguments effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are concise and clear, setting up your argument well and summarizing it effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are well-supported and logically structured, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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