It is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops. Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?
Some people argue that the development of
technology
leads to the erosion of traditions. It might be true in some societies, however
, other societies seem to be not affected by technology
or the modern world
.
On the one hand, technology
which industrialises Western countries definitely causes the disappearance of traditional lifestyles. For example
, in the pre-industrialised United Kingdom, families in generations grew in communities
of the same villages. These communities
, due to
common religion and customs, had strong self-commitments in identity. However
, the development of transportation, communication, and manufacturing led to the dispread of those families and countryside communities
. Therefore
, residents need to immigrate to cities to seek employment opportunities. Nowadays, most countryside inhabitants are commuters, and many of them do not even know their neighbours.
On the other hand
, in some parts of the world
, traditional cultures
are still prosperous. For example
, Amazon tribes are absolutely not affected by technology
from the developed world
. These tribes continued to hunt animals and pick vegetables from the forests, and traditional skills were passed from the older generation to the younger generation. Other traditional societies, such
as some agricultural communities
in Africa, are hugging communication technologies. Mobile phones provide information from weather forecasts to market prices to peasants, which helps them develop strongly, thus
supporting their traditional cultures
.
In conclusion, although
it is true that many traditional values and practices are vanishing because technology
is developing quickly in the modern world
, there are still many traditional communities
and cultures
survived
Correct pronoun usage
that survived
from
modern Change preposition
apply
technology
’s invasion and their cultures
are even developing flourishingly.Submitted by dawn140140140140 on
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task response
Your essay provides a well-balanced response to the prompt, addressing both sides of the argument. However, try to elaborate more on how traditional cultures can adapt alongside technology, as this will strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that supporting ideas are logically connected to this main idea. This will improve the overall coherence of your essay.
supporting points
When using specific examples, aim to provide more detailed information to make your points more convincing. Explaining why or how the example is relevant will add depth to your argument.
introduction
The introduction clearly presents the topic and your stance, setting up the reader for what to expect in the essay.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points discussed in the essay, reinforcing your argument.
task response
You have provided relevant examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?