Some parents choose to homeschool their children because they claim that it has a number of benefits. Others this that this educational method can cause a lot of problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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This
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question mentioned its crucial topic.
Last
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few years, many parents
want
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have wanted
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to
left
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leave
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their children at home,because we
just
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have just
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recently endured a terrible epidemic
world wide
Correct your spelling
worldwide
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.
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This
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These
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parents are choosing
online
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an online
show examples
school
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for
kids
Correct pronoun usage
their kids
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. I didn't hear about homeschool
,
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apply
show examples
or some online
school
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before COVID-19. Maybe it was
choice
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the choice
show examples
of parents. My opinion is a little different. I prefer my children have go to
school
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physically. Nowadays, numerous people doing
the
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apply
show examples
online
business
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businesses
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,
such
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as
the
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apply
show examples
online
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
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developed
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apply
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,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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try to give
the
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apply
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secondary education.They
disterbuted
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distributed
too
may
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many
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advertisments
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advertisements
about internet
study
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,
online
Add an article
the online
show examples
degree to social. Indeed, if like spread
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of mass
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mass
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a
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disease like
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disease-like
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situation was in 2020, was
best
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the best
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choice
online
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for online
show examples
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
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and
have
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apply
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to get mandatory
educaion
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education
for
disability
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disabled
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children. Certainly,
this
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business
is contained
Wrong verb form
contains
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a lot of advantages. But it
is depends
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depends
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on
age
Add an article
the age
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of
students
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the students
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. in
the
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apply
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fact,
the
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apply
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online
school
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is more efficient
if
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apply
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the graduate
school
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or high
school
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study
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. Unfortunately, it was almost confirmed no benefit for preschool and elementary education. Because small kids couldn't
skill
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apply
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pay attention,
independent
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independently
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.
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Also
Add a comma
Also,
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they
needs
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need
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social
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a social
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environment and surround
of
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apply
show examples
peers. Concludes, Everybody can choose where to
study
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, but young people need some
supports
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support
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, around others,
convienced
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convinced
study
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area,
most
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and most
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important
relationship
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relationships
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with others. Because every
kids
Change to a singular noun
kid
show examples
would involve a social relative in future. If they stay
in homeschool
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homeschooled
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alone,
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however
Add the comma(s)
however,
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he
Correct pronoun usage
they
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can earn
an
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apply
show examples
academic knowledge. but they couldn't use our knowledge. People need
social
Correct article usage
a social
show examples
environment, especially, significant affect is difference between
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
and animals is the more use
language
Change preposition
of language
show examples
.
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
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task achievement
Focus on expressing your ideas more clearly and comprehensively. This will help readers understand your points better and improve your overall clarity.
task achievement
You have attempted to address both sides of the argument, which is important for a balanced essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in giving a complete view of your topic.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Customized learning plan
  • Tailored curriculum
  • Quality time
  • Safe environment
  • Bullying
  • Peer pressure
  • Flexible schedule
  • Social skills
  • Subject matter expertise
  • Extracurricular activities
  • Legal and regulatory frameworks
What to do next:
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