Some parents choose to homeschool their children because they claim that it has a number of benefits. Others this that this educational method can cause a lot of problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

This
question mentioned its crucial topic.
Last
few years, many parents
want
Wrong verb form
have wanted
show examples
to
left
Wrong verb form
leave
show examples
their children at home,because we
just
Add a missing verb
have just
show examples
recently endured a terrible epidemic
world wide
Correct your spelling
worldwide
show examples
.
This
Change the determiner
These
show examples
parents are choosing
online
Add an article
an online
show examples
school
for
kids
Correct pronoun usage
their kids
show examples
. I didn't hear about homeschool
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
or some online
school
before COVID-19. Maybe it was
choice
Correct article usage
the choice
show examples
of parents. My opinion is a little different. I prefer my children have go to
school
physically. Nowadays, numerous people doing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
,
such
as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
developed
Verb problem
apply
show examples
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
try to give
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
secondary education.They
disterbuted
Correct your spelling
distributed
too
may
Correct your spelling
many
show examples
advertisments
Correct your spelling
advertisements
about internet
study
,
online
Add an article
the online
show examples
degree to social. Indeed, if like spread
Change preposition
of mass
show examples
mass
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
disease like
Add a hyphen
disease-like
show examples
situation was in 2020, was
best
Change the article
the best
show examples
choice
online
Change preposition
for online
show examples
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
and
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
to get mandatory
educaion
Correct your spelling
education
for
disability
Replace the word
disabled
show examples
children. Certainly,
this
business
is contained
Wrong verb form
contains
show examples
a lot of advantages. But it
is depends
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
on
age
Add an article
the age
show examples
of
students
Correct article usage
the students
show examples
. in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fact,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online
school
is more efficient
if
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the graduate
school
or high
school
study
. Unfortunately, it was almost confirmed no benefit for preschool and elementary education. Because small kids couldn't
skill
Verb problem
apply
show examples
pay attention,
independent
Change the word
independently
show examples
.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
they
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
social
Correct article usage
a social
show examples
environment and surround
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
peers. Concludes, Everybody can choose where to
study
, but young people need some
supports
Fix the agreement mistake
support
show examples
, around others,
convienced
Correct your spelling
convinced
study
area,
most
Correct word choice
and most
show examples
important
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
with others. Because every
kids
Change to a singular noun
kid
show examples
would involve a social relative in future. If they stay
in homeschool
Change preposition
homeschooled
show examples
alone,
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
show examples
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
can earn
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
academic knowledge. but they couldn't use our knowledge. People need
social
Correct article usage
a social
show examples
environment, especially, significant affect is difference between
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
and animals is the more use
language
Change preposition
of language
show examples
.
Submitted by nbogey777 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your essay more clearly. Use paragraphs effectively to separate different points and ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that you introduce your topic clearly and provide a well-rounded conclusion that summarizes your main points. This will help make your essay more cohesive.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. This will make your points more convincing and strengthen your task achievement score.
task achievement
Focus on expressing your ideas more clearly and comprehensively. This will help readers understand your points better and improve your overall clarity.
task achievement
You have attempted to address both sides of the argument, which is important for a balanced essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in giving a complete view of your topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Customized learning plan
  • Tailored curriculum
  • Quality time
  • Safe environment
  • Bullying
  • Peer pressure
  • Flexible schedule
  • Social skills
  • Subject matter expertise
  • Extracurricular activities
  • Legal and regulatory frameworks
What to do next:
Look at other essays: