Some people think that sport has significant impact on the society, others think that sport is nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Whilst a number of people believe that

sport

Use synonyms

is an important thing in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society, since it can considerably influence

Change preposition

apply

show examples

national economics, others and I

thinks

Change the verb form

think

show examples

that it plays only

entertainment

Correct article usage

an entertainment

show examples

role.

This

Linking Words

essay will examine both views in the following

paragrpaphs

Correct your spelling

paragraphs

. On the one hand, arranging huge scenes,

such

Linking Words

Correct article usage

the olympic

show examples

olympic

Change the capitalization

Olympic

show examples

games or

world's

Correct article usage

the world's

show examples

football championship can bring

significant

Add an article

a significant

show examples

amount of money through

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

expensive tickets and tourists. To illustrate, many people around the world are

comming

Correct your spelling

coming

the

Correct article usage

show examples

certain

place

Fix the agreement mistake

places

show examples

to watch their favourite

Use synonyms

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

competition, spending their

moneys

Change the wording

money

amounts of money

sums of money

show examples

on local facilities, like hotels,

restourants

Correct your spelling

restaurants

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

etc.

Hence

Linking Words

, bringing

beneficual

Correct your spelling

beneficial

effect

Fix the agreement mistake

effects

show examples

on the foreign country.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

organization

Correct article usage

the organization

show examples

such

Linking Words

venue

Correct article usage

a venue

show examples

is expensive

due to

Linking Words

the winning budget, relevant equipment, creating

schedule

Add an article

a schedule

the schedule

show examples

and supporting

sportsman

Fix the agreement mistake

sportsmen

show examples

with

acoomadation

Correct your spelling

accommodation

, so almost all income will be spent on

this

Linking Words

In other words

Linking Words

, in spite of the fact that gainings from

sport

Use synonyms

are giant, they anyways will not bring any extreme advantage.

For example

Linking Words

according to

Linking Words

a recent study, only awards and checks for

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

winners

takes

Correct subject-verb agreement

take

show examples

a third of all

budget

Correct article usage

the budget

show examples

for the competition, despite the other

spendings

Fix the agreement mistake

spending

show examples

Therefore

Linking Words

Use synonyms

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

creates

Verb problem

have

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

little effect on society.

To conclude

Linking Words

Use synonyms

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

events are obviously fascinating and may bring money via providing tickets and souvenirs, but the major amount of them is meaningless as they will be spent on managing and organisation

hhaha9102

Jul 27, 2024

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task achievement

The essay addresses both views of the topic, which is a good start. However, to enhance task achievement, make sure to provide a more balanced discussion and develop each point with greater detail.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure is mostly clear, but transitions between points and paragraphs could be smoother to improve readability. Try using more linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your arguments.

coherence cohesion

There are some language inaccuracies and grammatical errors that slightly hinder understanding. Pay attention to spelling and sentence structure. Consider using a mix of simple and complex sentences to add variety to your writing.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present and relevant to the topic, which provides a clear framework for your essay.

task achievement

The use of a specific example (spending money on local facilities during sports events) strengthens your argument and makes it more relatable.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

228 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

fosters
national pride
integration
mutual respect
advocate for equality
influencing societal attitudes
leisure activity
physical and mental health benefits
commercialization
catalyst for unity
societal impact
multifaceted role

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In the past, school children usually learnt by listening to their teacher and by studying their books. Nowadays, many school children learn by using technology in the classroom instead. What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

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