Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree of disagree with this opinion?
Nowadays, it is viewed that
music
is one
big and excellent tool of
drawing individuals of diverse Change preposition
for
believes
and ages together. I partly agree Replace the word
beliefs
to
Change preposition
with
this
view.
On the one
hand, music
indeed is a one
good route of pulling crowds of diverse societies and age groups. Correct pronoun usage
apply
People
love some artists that
they can pay anything to see that person perform. Correct word choice
so that
Music
is one
tool that hits one
's soul, mind and heart until a person forgets all their troubles. It literally takes a grip of one
. For instance
, the late Michael Jackson is one
idol or artist who captures people
's attention. Moreso, wherever he performed, thousands of people
would gather and would not even want to go to their homes. It was like, they worshipped him. Thus
, how powerful music
can be.
Change the punctuation
?
Hence
, it should be noted that music
can bring individuals of different societies and ages together.
On the other hand
, sports tournaments and movie star shows or entertainment programs are other crowd pullers
as well. Add a hyphen
crowd-pullers
Further
, it should be noted that some people
may travel from afar and pay any amount, just to attend any of the above-mentioned crowd puller
programs. Add a hyphen
crowd-puller
For example
, soccer fans adore soccer to the extent of some flying to other nations, just to watch a World Cup Final game.
In conclusion, as much as I agree that music
can bring people
of different cultures and ages together, it should be noted that there are other things that may do likewise
, like sports tournaments and movie star shows or entertainment programs, especially soccer, like to mention one
.Submitted by pncubeterera on
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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complete response
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view.