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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

MANY CITIES CONTAIN OLD PUBLIC BUILDINGS,SUCH AS TOWN HALLS ANFF ART GALLERIES,WHICH ARE EXPENSIVE TO REPAIR.SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT GOVERNMENTS SHOULD REPLACE THESE BUILDINGS WITH NEWS ONES.OTHER PEOPLE THINK THAT IT IS IMPORTANT TO KEEP THE OLD BUIldings discuss both these views and give your own opinion Com

#cities #buildings #town #halls #anff #art #galleries #repair #people #governments #news #ones #com
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The debate surrounding the fate of old public properties in cities is complex, particularly in countries like Nigeria. On one side, some argue that governments should replace ageing structures with new ones
due to
 the high costs associated with repairs.
This
 viewpoint is grounded in the practical consideration of financial resources.
For instance
, the National Institution in Lagos, which houses invaluable artefacts of Nigeria's cultural heritage, has faced numerous challenges regarding its upkeep. Advocates for replacement argue that investing in modern facilities would alleviate financial burdens and provide spaces better equipped to serve contemporary needs,
such
 as improved safety standards and accessibility.
Conversely
, preserving old edifices for their historical and cultural significance is crucial. The National Gallery, despite its maintenance issues, serves as a vital link to Nigeria's past, educating visitors about the country's diverse cultures and histories. Preserving
such
 a framework fosters a sense of identity and continuity within the community.
For instance
, the museum attracts local and international tourists, contributing to the economy
while
 promoting cultural awareness.
Thus
, the argument for preservation is not merely sentimental; it
also
 has tangible benefits for the community and the economy. A balanced approach is essential when considering the future of old public facilities.
While
 the financial implications of maintaining these structures are significant, their cultural and historical value must be considered. Governments should prioritize the preservation of old establishments that hold considerable historical importance, like the National Gallery,
while
also
 exploring renovation options for those that may be less vital. Ultimately, a thoughtful strategy combining preservation with modernization can lead to solutions honouring the past
while
 addressing contemporary challenges. By doing so, cities can maintain their cultural heritage
while
 evolving to meet their residents' needs.
This
 dual approach respects history and ensures that public architecture continues to serve their communities effectively.
Submitted by henikeassociates on

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task achievement
Ensure to address both views equally. Your essay slightly leans towards one perspective more than the other. Balance your discussion to enhance task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The essay can benefit from smoother transitions between paragraphs. Using linking phrases will help improve flow and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to include a clear conclusion that sums up the main points and reiterates your stance clearly. Though present, your conclusion can be strengthened.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic and provides a well-rounded discussion, considering both sides of the argument.
task achievement
The examples provided, such as the National Institution in Lagos and the National Gallery, are relevant and enhance the essay's arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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