In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while other believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. discuss both views and give your opinion.
IIt
is said that, in some nations, extremely high Correct your spelling
It
salaries
are earned by a few Use synonyms
people
. Some believe Use synonyms
this
can be good for a Linking Words
country
, Use synonyms
whereas
others think that Linking Words
salaries
should be controlled by the Use synonyms
the
government and limit the amount Remove the redundancy
apply
people
can earn.
First of all, high Use synonyms
salaries
can lead to the cultivation of a society. One of the best motivations for individuals to promote their work is financial issues, and most of them may have a dream of wealth, Use synonyms
as a result
, they would do their best in their work environments to achieve Linking Words
this
financial goal. Linking Words
This
purpose requires more innovations, inventions and even better presentation of services which in turn, leads to the flourishing of a society. Linking Words
Furthermore
, the ability to Linking Words
earnextremely
high Correct your spelling
earn extremely
salaries
in a Use synonyms
country
can attract foreign investors. When business owners witness Use synonyms
people
in a Use synonyms
country
Use synonyms
can
earn extremely high Verb problem
apply
salaries
Use synonyms
due to
their government support and regulations, they may become enthusiastic to invest in Linking Words
such
a Linking Words
country
. It leads to bringing currency to the Use synonyms
country
Use synonyms
,
and flourishing its economy.
Remove the comma
apply
On the other hand
, making extremely high incomes Linking Words
by
a few Change preposition
for
people
can increase the social gap. Use synonyms
This
can disrupt the idea of human equality. Linking Words
While
some Linking Words
people
may have luxurious lives, others may deal with basic human needs Use synonyms
such
as housing. Linking Words
For example
, in developing countries, like African countries, Linking Words
such
differences can be seen. Linking Words
In addition
, the chance of stealing is high in societies in which some Linking Words
people
make extremely high Use synonyms
salaries
. Individuals may be Use synonyms
temted
Correct your spelling
tempted
tested
to
internet fraud to earn more money Change preposition
by
instead
of working harder.
In conclusion, I believe that Linking Words
although
earning extremely high Linking Words
salaries
may have drawbacks, like increasing the chance of stealing or widening the social gap, its significant benefits, Use synonyms
such
as social and economic development, for the Linking Words
country
are undeniable. Use synonyms
According to
these important advantages, it is not necessary for governments to control and limit Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
's Use synonyms
salaries
.Use synonyms
Submitted by hg1984 on
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task achievement
Consider including more relevant and specific examples to better illustrate your arguments. For instance, more concrete examples from recognizable countries or situations can strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
While the essay generally maintains a clear structure, ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs. This will help maintain the readers' engagement and improve flow.
task achievement
The essay covers both viewpoints and provides a balanced discussion, showing a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are effectively presented, clearly stating the issue and summarizing the arguments made.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example