In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while other believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. discuss both views and give your opinion.

IIt
Correct your spelling
It
is said that, in some nations, extremely high
salaries
are earned by a few
people
. Some believe
this
can be good for a
country
,
whereas
others think that
salaries
should be controlled by the
the
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government and limit the amount
people
can earn. First of all, high
salaries
can lead to the cultivation of a society. One of the best motivations for individuals to promote their work is financial issues, and most of them may have a dream of wealth,
as a result
, they would do their best in their work environments to achieve
this
financial goal.
This
purpose requires more innovations, inventions and even better presentation of services which in turn, leads to the flourishing of a society.
Furthermore
, the ability to
earnextremely
Correct your spelling
earn extremely
high
salaries
in a
country
can attract foreign investors. When business owners witness
people
in a
country
can
Verb problem
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earn extremely high
salaries
due to
their government support and regulations, they may become enthusiastic to invest in
such
a
country
. It leads to bringing currency to the
country
,
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and flourishing its economy.
On the other hand
, making extremely high incomes
by
Change preposition
for
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a few
people
can increase the social gap.
This
can disrupt the idea of human equality.
While
some
people
may have luxurious lives, others may deal with basic human needs
such
as housing.
For example
, in developing countries, like African countries,
such
differences can be seen.
In addition
, the chance of stealing is high in societies in which some
people
make extremely high
salaries
. Individuals may be
temted
Correct your spelling
tempted
tested
to
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by
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internet fraud to earn more money
instead
of working harder. In conclusion, I believe that
although
earning extremely high
salaries
may have drawbacks, like increasing the chance of stealing or widening the social gap, its significant benefits,
such
as social and economic development, for the
country
are undeniable.
According to
these important advantages, it is not necessary for governments to control and limit
the
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apply
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people
's
salaries
.
Submitted by hg1984 on

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task achievement
Consider including more relevant and specific examples to better illustrate your arguments. For instance, more concrete examples from recognizable countries or situations can strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
While the essay generally maintains a clear structure, ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs. This will help maintain the readers' engagement and improve flow.
task achievement
The essay covers both viewpoints and provides a balanced discussion, showing a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are effectively presented, clearly stating the issue and summarizing the arguments made.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • wealth inequality
  • economic growth
  • motivation
  • talent acquisition
  • consumer spending
  • tax revenue
  • redistributing wealth
  • market forces
  • income disparity
  • social stability
  • freedom of choice
  • meritocracy
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