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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Take a look at the graphics and complete the task. The table and chart show data about reading among people under 30 years old. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Take a look at the graphics and complete the task. The table and chart show data about reading among people under 30 years old. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar graph illustrates different
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of
books
Use synonyms
 read by
people
Use synonyms
 aged from 16 to 29 and the table graph displays data about
book
Use synonyms
 reading in 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who
readed
Correct your spelling
read
show examples
books
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 young
people
Use synonyms
 .
And the
Correct word choice
The
show examples
 most popular type of
book
Use synonyms
 was print
book
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 the least was audiobook.
To begin
Linking Words
 with
bar
Add an article
a bar
the bar
show examples
 chart, the most popular type of
Use synonyms
books
Fix the agreement mistake
book
show examples
 for three
group
Change to a plural noun
groups
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 ( 16-17, 18-24 and 25-29)
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
print
Add an article
a print
show examples
Use synonyms
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
(about 90% about 75% and just above 70%
resectively
Correct your spelling
respectively
).
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 aged 16-17 had above 25% on
e-
Fix the agreement mistake
e-books
show examples
book
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 both other groups ( 18-24 and 25-29) had similar
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
 in both
e-
Fix the agreement mistake
e-books
show examples
book
Use synonyms
 and
audiobook
Fix the agreement mistake
audiobooks
show examples
 ( about 15% and just under 20%).
Table
Add an article
The table
show examples
 shows the
number
Use synonyms
 of
book
Use synonyms
reading
Replace the word
read
show examples
, first age group from 16-17 had the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
book
Use synonyms
 reading with average
books
Use synonyms
 12,
while
Linking Words
 both other groups had
similar
Change the article
a similar
the similar
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of
books
Use synonyms
 11.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words books, people, book, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "data" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
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