IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

International tourism has brought enormous benefit to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the advantages?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
In the modern era,
tourism
Use synonyms
 is the main source of
income
Use synonyms
 for many small countries,
while
Linking Words
 the concern of
tourism
Use synonyms
 can have an effect on locals and the environment. I believe that international tourists can bring more advantages to a
country
Use synonyms
 through their spending power and by spreading the local culture and tradition to their
country
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, for many countries, their main source of
income
Use synonyms
 comes from
tourism
Use synonyms
. An international traveller spends a lot of money,
while
Linking Words
 they travel for food, shelter and services. Which help local to do business, that help to grow the economy of the state.
For instance
Linking Words
, the Maldives is a
country
Use synonyms
 in the Indian Ocean
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 its main source of
income
Use synonyms
 comes from tourists , and that helps the local people to open businesses and to get more employment options.
As a result
Linking Words
, it directly impacts the growth of the
country
Use synonyms
's economy.
Secondly
Linking Words
, .
Tourism
Use synonyms
 plays an important role in increasing global awareness of a
country
Use synonyms
's customs and traditions,
thus
Linking Words
 spreading the image of a
country
Use synonyms
 among tourists.
For example
Linking Words
, in the modern era, where the internet is accessible, people post videos of their travels to show their experience of local tradition which helps spread the local tradition and culture all over the globe.
As a result
Linking Words
, the
country
Use synonyms
's influence on global
tourism
Use synonyms
 improves as more exposure can help more
tourism
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, international
tourism
Use synonyms
 generates
income
Use synonyms
 and promotes cultural awareness.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I believe that its advantages outweigh the potential negative effects on local communities and the environment.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer the other side more clearly. You say the good side is stronger, but you do not really explain the bad side.
task response
Add one short point about harm to nature or local people, then show why it is smaller than the good side.
task response
Make each main idea more fully explained. Some sentences are too short or not fully clear.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer links between ideas. Some parts jump too fast from one idea to the next.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order in body paragraph 1. A few lines are hard to follow because of grammar and word form.
coherence and cohesion
Give one clear topic sentence for each body paragraph and keep all lines in that paragraph on that one point.
task response
You give a clear opinion in the introduction and keep it to the end.
task response
You include relevant examples, like the Maldives and online travel videos.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear basic shape: introduction, two body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use simple linking words like firstly, secondly, for instance, and as a result.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • enormous benefit
  • impact
  • local inhabitants
  • environment
  • disadvantages
  • outweigh
  • advantages
  • economic benefits
  • job creation
  • cultural exchange
  • infrastructure development
  • promotion
  • local products
  • environmental impact
  • exploitation
  • resources
  • cultural erosion
  • increased cost of living
  • overcrowding
  • congestion
  • balancing
  • benefits
  • disadvantages
What to do next:
Look at other essays: