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Band 4

Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#families #children #schools #taxes #support #education #system
Nowadays, some people believe that it is not compulsory for parents who
sent
Wrong verb form
send
show examples
 their offspring to private schools to pay
taxes
 for educational purposes. Considering all the advantages educational
taxes
 bring to our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
, I totally disagree with
this
 statement.
Firstly
, paying
taxes
 should be required for each person because we need to take the
responsibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 our nation.
Secondly
, it is beneficial for all members of a country
having
Change the verb form
to have
show examples
 a better educational system, which creates
professional
Correct article usage
a professional
show examples
 workforce and improves the
overall
 economy. To
examplify
Correct your spelling
exemplify
, education
taxes
 help maintain the public school system, ensuring learning opportunities for children of all classes,
making
Correct word choice
and making
show examples
 sure that the label workforce of that country can meet the advanced technological requirements in the future. Looking at the solutions for
this
controvesial
Correct your spelling
controversial
 topic, readjustment or
taxes
 reducing might not be
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 good answer. First of all,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
perfect equality should never exist, if rich parents, who are able to pay for higher tuition fees at private schools, have a discount, it means that poorer families have to pay the higher rates. The second reason is that we all have to pay
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
additional
taxes
 for the services we use, why educational
taxes
 are exceptions? To end my essay, I want to
emohasise
Correct your spelling
emphasise
emphasize
 the profound impacts of education on our life and
people
Correct word choice
that people
show examples
 should pay an equal amount of
taxes
 for
this
 purpose to create
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future sustainable development.
Submitted by anhduong.mth0102 on

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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
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surface errors
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task achievement
Clear stance taken on the topic, which is consistently supported throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Good overall structure, with a clear introduction and conclusion. The essay covers multiple aspects of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • tax exemption
  • public education
  • private schools
  • collective responsibility
  • societal welfare
  • equitable access
  • financial burden
  • social cohesion
  • tax credits
  • vouchers
  • subsidies
  • state-funded
  • socioeconomic disparities
  • public vs. private sector
  • quality of education
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