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Some suggest than young people should take a job for a few years between school and university. Discuss what the itadvantages and disadvantages might be for people who do this.

#suggest #people #job #years #school #university #itadvantages
Nowadays, starting an occupation
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the
accurate
Correct word choice
appropriate
show examples
time
 is one of the most significant issues among the youth; there is a group who opines that mature students ought to have a temporary job during their education period in schools and colleges. Taking
such
action
 will bear some drawbacks and positive
points
, all of which will be discussed in the following paragraphs. Pupils can benefit from working and
studding
Correct your spelling
studying
show examples
 at the same
time
; they will be made skilled
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
 for their future jobs.
For instance
, when one tries to utilize effectively their free
time
 by occupying
in
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apply
show examples
a particular career, they will learn novel skills
along
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in
show examples
 their study subjects;
this
 issue will assist them to become more expert
ones
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in comparison to their counterparts who just spend their
time
for
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apply
show examples
studding
Correct your spelling
studying
show examples
.
Additionally
, they will be offered more job positions with high incomes, when they want to embark on a permanent career after their
graduations
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graduation
show examples
.
Furthermore
, the opportunity for climbing to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 specific career will be more accessible for
people
 who start to work in their teens rather than ones who do not. Taking
such
action
,
in contrast
, can bear some disadvantageous
points
 for
people
, the drawbacks which can irreparably affect their lives. Losing advanced study positions, being unconscious
on
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of
show examples
 lessons and not having sufficient
time
 for resting can
be count
Change the verb form
be counted
show examples
 as
this
action
's negative
points
.
For example
, if individuals
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 an attempt to earn money in their free
time
, they will not only be able
spend
Add the particle
to spend
show examples
 adequate
time
for
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apply
show examples
conducting professional
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
 and learning accurately, but
also
 they will not be successful
to achieve
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in achieving
show examples
 proper
points
 in their lectures, the
action
 which can deprive them from having higher educations.
Besides
, working during educational years can have detrimental effects on
people
's physical and psychological health
due to
 not having enough
time
 for resting and some
entertainments
Fix the agreement mistake
entertainment
show examples
. In conclusion, there is a perspective which expresses that young
people
 should work even for a short
time
 within their educational period.
This
 issue has some advantages
such
 as
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
 a skilled person for their future lives,
while
 it can bear some negative
points
 like losing
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 position
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 higher education.
Submitted by shaghayegh95shadman on

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task achievement
Make sure to proofread for minor grammatical and typographical errors, such as 'advantages' instead of 'itadvantages' and 'studding' instead of 'studying'.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to maintain a logical flow throughout the essay. Some ideas in your essay feel a bit disconnected.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly sets up the essay and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points.
complete response
The essay addresses the task comprehensively, discussing both advantages and disadvantages of working between school and university.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gap year: A year taken off between school and university to work or travel.
  • real-world skills: Practical abilities gained through actual experience rather than academic study.
  • financial burdens: The financial pressures or difficulties one might face.
  • career goals: Objectives or aspirations related to one's professional path.
  • strengths and weaknesses: Positive and negative attributes or abilities.
  • maturity: The state of being fully developed in one's personality or emotional capabilities.
  • responsibility: The state or fact of having a duty to deal with something or oversee someone.
  • communication skills: The ability to convey or share ideas and feelings effectively.
  • time management: The ability to use one's time effectively or productively.
  • organizational skills: The ability to plan and arrange activities or tasks systematically.
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