The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
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The line graph
provide
Change the verb form
provides
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some information on the number of people who take
a
Correct article usage
apply
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part in some activities Including Film club,Martial arts,Amateur dramatics,Table tennis and Musical performance In Australia from 2000 to 2020.
According to
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the graph,
Film
Correct article usage
the Film
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club was always at the top rank,
while
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Table tennis started at third but Experienced huge growth by 2020 On one hand,Amateur dramatics saw
huge
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a huge
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drop by 2020 In terms of the two activities with the highest level at the start, film club and martial arts activity stood at approximately 65 and 35 people, respectively.
Then
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, the former hit a trough at just above 60 and the latter reached a peak at just below 40 in 2010. From
this
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point onwards, both fluctuated and went back to their original level in the final year. Regarding the remaining types of activities with lower levels, Amateur dramatics started at 18 persons
Keep
Verb problem
This
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this
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trend
by
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By
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2010 suddenly took over from Martial arts and reached 50 persons
Additionally
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, musical performances emerged in 2005 with 0 attendees and rose gradually until the end of the period.
Submitted by roozbehkh88 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the seventh paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the eighth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • participants
  • social centre
  • comparison
  • trends
  • consistently popular
  • gained popularity
  • lost popularity
  • community interest
  • availability of facilities
  • social factors
  • economic factors
  • external events
  • economic downturns
  • health crises
  • demographic changes
  • aging population
  • marketing
  • community outreach programs
  • participation rates
  • Melbourne
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