Some people use social media to keep in touch with other people and news event. Do you think advantages of this technology outweigh the disadvantage?

#people #media #touch #news #event #technology

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this

modern era, the development of social

media

has been controversial regarding the pros and cons of

such

technologies for individuals.

While

the invention of the internet brought a phenomenal benefit to humankind, others believe that its drawbacks are ineluctable.

Initially

media

platforms have played a critical role in our social lives in recent years. Some of us move abroad or to another city

for living

Change preposition

to live

show examples

Therefore

, social networks

enabled

Wrong verb form

enable

show examples

us to keep in contact with family and friends at

Correct article usage

the

show examples

touch of a button. To illustrate, many students studying in foreign countries are able to stay connected with their families through FaceTime or Skype.

Additionally

, the internet

also

simplified

Wrong verb form

simplifies

show examples

studying, teaching, and meeting.

Due to

the overuse of social applications, online education and performing the job are now accessible.

For instance

, many universities offer online courses, and other schools provide online classes through apps like Classroom. On the downside, a concerning issue that

such

websites activate is diminishing the need for face-to-face interactions. The excessive dependency on clicking buttons to talk to somebody will have an impact on communication skills. To be more clear, if a family member has an occasion, most of the younger generation will just upload a post or send a message

instead

of attending and making memories.

Furthermore

, the pessimistic effect of internet use on mental health is a serious matter. especially for youngsters.

For example

, scientific research has proven that

such

applications could increase anxiety and depression via the immoderate use of social

media

. In conclusion,

although

networking websites can facilitate contact with people and provide a digital library for learning,

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

can

makes

Change the verb form

make

show examples

us lose our ability to meet other people and harm our mental health. I believe that the advantages of the

media

outweigh the disadvantages, but taking the disadvantages into consideration

Submitted by Ayreen🍒 on Sun Jul 28 2024

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task achievement

Your essay presents a clear position on the topic and includes a conclusion. However, the conclusion could be stronger with a more definitive opinion. Consider clearly stating your stance, such as: 'I believe that the advantages of social media, such as maintaining relationships and facilitating online education, significantly outweigh the disadvantages.'

coherence cohesion

Your essay is logically structured and easy to follow. Each paragraph focuses on a single main idea; however, ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs for better coherence. For instance, use linking phrases like 'On the other hand' more effectively.

task achievement

Your essay provides relevant examples to support your points. Yet, try to incorporate a wider variety of examples. Include different perspectives, such as professional benefits of social media for networking or information dissemination during emergencies, to strengthen your argument.

task achievement

While your points are comprehensive, some ideas require clearer expression. For example, clarify what you mean by 'overuse of social applications' and how exactly this leads to online education and work opportunities.

coherence cohesion

Your essay should have a clearer introduction and conclusion; both are present but could be more explicitly defined. Summarize your main points in the conclusion concisely and ensure your introduction effectively introduces the key points of the essay.

task achievement

Your essay discusses both advantages and disadvantages of social media, demonstrating a considered viewpoint.

task achievement

You effectively use examples like FaceTime and Skype to illustrate your points, which makes the essay relatable and concrete.

coherence cohesion

Your writing has a logical flow, with each paragraph focusing on a single main idea, making your argument easy to follow.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

301 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

real-time updates
global connectivity
professional networking
fake news
misinformation
social media addiction
mental health issues
privacy concerns
personal information
viral content

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Some people use social media to keep in touch with other people and news event. Do you think advantages of this technology outweigh the disadvantage?

Your opinion

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree.

Some people think that to lead a successful life a university degree is important Others believe that this is no longer true nowadays Discuss both views and give your own opinion?

15. You’re interested in a music course that you saw on an advertisement. Write a letter to the club. In your letter, you should: - explain why you’re interested - request more information about the course - talk about your past experiences.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? “It’s more important to eat a good diet than to exercise a lot”. Support your choice with reasons and details.