Over time, as children grow older, the relationship they have with their parents changes. In your opinion, what role should parents have in their adult children’s lives? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
Relationships
show examples
between
children
and
parents
will not be the same, it will change
overtime
Correct your spelling
over time
show examples
depend
Change the form of the verb
depending
show examples
on the stage their
kids
through. In my opinion,
parents
should
transfrom
Correct your spelling
transition
from primary being
caregiver
Fix the agreement mistake
caregivers
show examples
to supportive mentors in their
adults
Fix the agreement mistake
adult
show examples
lives.
This
role
involve
Change the verb form
involves
show examples
offering guidance, emotional support and
respecting
Change the form of the verb
respect
show examples
. The approach will
beneficial
Add a missing verb
be beneficial
show examples
for
parents
to have a good
relationship
with their
kids
.
Firstly
, as an
adult
Add a comma
adult,
show examples
they will face new challenges and responsibilities in their life. As
parents
Add a comma
parents,
show examples
you should be there as a mentor.
For example
, when I had my first job, my
parents
gave
insight
Correct pronoun usage
me insight
show examples
about
Change preposition
into
show examples
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
show examples
and
carrier
Correct your spelling
career
show examples
advice. Their support was valuable
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
me.
Moreover
, emotional support is important for adulthood. The complexities of life,
such
as pressure at work, romantic
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
, and friendship can be overwhelming. Having
strong
Add an article
a strong
show examples
emotional bond with the
children
will help them through their difficult times. Your present will make them feel secure and
comfort
Replace the word
comfortable
show examples
.
Lastly
, respect
foster
Change the verb form
fosters
show examples
healthy
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
both
parents
and
kids
.
This
is
essential
Add an article
an essential
show examples
aspect
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
parental
Add an article
a parental
the parental
show examples
role.
Parents
should respect with
children
's choices.
For instance
, when I decided
my
Change preposition
on my
show examples
first job. My
parents
wanted me to work in
law
Add an article
a law
the law
show examples
firm and be a lawyer. But, I have
other dream job
Change the wording
another dream job
other dream jobs
show examples
, I want to work in
international
Add an article
the international
an international
show examples
organization
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
focus
Correct subject-verb agreement
focuses
show examples
on human
right
Fix the agreement mistake
rights
show examples
. After
long
Add an article
a long
show examples
discussion, my
parents
allowed and supported my choice. In conclusion, as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
grow up,
parental
Add an article
the parental
show examples
role
Fix the agreement mistake
roles
show examples
should evolve. To create a healthy
relationship
and a strong connection
parents
should act like a mentor, being supportive and
rescpect
Correct your spelling
respect
. By adapting these approaches I believe healthy
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
both
parents
and
kids
can be achieved.
Submitted by desimardianti0590 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow of your essay by linking your paragraphs better and using more transitional phrases.
task achievement
Work on your grammar and sentence structure to make your writing clearer and more fluent. This will also help with achieving a higher score in clarity and comprehensiveness.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to support your main points. Detailed examples can make your arguments stronger.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a smoother introduction to capture the reader's interest and a more structured conclusion that decisively wraps up your argument.
task achievement
You present clear and comprehensive ideas regarding the evolving role of parents in their adult children's lives.
task achievement
Your essay provides valuable insights into mentorship, emotional support, and respect, which are crucial in parent-child relationships.
coherence cohesion
You effectively introduce and conclude your essay, ensuring the reader understands your main points.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: