IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Over time, as children grow older, the relationship they have with their parents changes. In your opinion, what role should parents have in their adult children’s lives? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Use synonyms
Relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
Relationships
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 between
children
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 and
parents
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 will not be the same, it will change
overtime
Correct your spelling
over time
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depend
Change the form of the verb
depending
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 on the stage their
kids
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 through. In my opinion,
parents
Use synonyms
 should
transfrom
Correct your spelling
transition
 from primary being
caregiver
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caregivers
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 to supportive mentors in their
adults
Fix the agreement mistake
adult
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 lives.
This
Linking Words
 role
involve
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involves
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 offering guidance, emotional support and
respecting
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respect
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. The approach will
beneficial
Add a missing verb
be beneficial
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 for
parents
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 to have a good
relationship
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 with their
kids
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
, as an
adult
Add a comma
adult,
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 they will face new challenges and responsibilities in their life. As
Use synonyms
parents
Add a comma
parents,
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 you should be there as a mentor.
For example
Linking Words
, when I had my first job, my
parents
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 gave
insight
Correct pronoun usage
me insight
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about
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into
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workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
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 and
carrier
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career
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 advice. Their support was valuable
form
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from
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 me.
Moreover
Linking Words
, emotional support is important for adulthood. The complexities of life,
such
Linking Words
 as pressure at work, romantic
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relationship
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relationships
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, and friendship can be overwhelming. Having
strong
Add an article
a strong
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 emotional bond with the
children
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 will help them through their difficult times. Your present will make them feel secure and
comfort
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comfortable
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.
Lastly
Linking Words
, respect
foster
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fosters
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 healthy
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relationship
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relationships
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 both
parents
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 and
kids
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.
This
Linking Words
 is
essential
Add an article
an essential
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 aspect
in
Change preposition
of
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parental
Add an article
a parental
the parental
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 role.
Parents
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 should respect with
children
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's choices.
For instance
Linking Words
, when I decided
my
Change preposition
on my
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 first job. My
parents
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 wanted me to work in
law
Add an article
a law
the law
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 firm and be a lawyer. But, I have
other dream job
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another dream job
other dream jobs
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, I want to work in
international
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the international
an international
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 organization
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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focus
Correct subject-verb agreement
focuses
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 on human
right
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rights
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. After
long
Add an article
a long
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 discussion, my
parents
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 allowed and supported my choice. In conclusion, as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
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 grow up,
parental
Add an article
the parental
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role
Fix the agreement mistake
roles
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 should evolve. To create a healthy
relationship
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 and a strong connection
parents
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 should act like a mentor, being supportive and
rescpect
Correct your spelling
respect
. By adapting these approaches I believe healthy
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relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
 both
parents
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 and
kids
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 can be achieved.

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coherence cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow of your essay by linking your paragraphs better and using more transitional phrases.
task achievement
Work on your grammar and sentence structure to make your writing clearer and more fluent. This will also help with achieving a higher score in clarity and comprehensiveness.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to support your main points. Detailed examples can make your arguments stronger.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a smoother introduction to capture the reader's interest and a more structured conclusion that decisively wraps up your argument.
task achievement
You present clear and comprehensive ideas regarding the evolving role of parents in their adult children's lives.
task achievement
Your essay provides valuable insights into mentorship, emotional support, and respect, which are crucial in parent-child relationships.
coherence cohesion
You effectively introduce and conclude your essay, ensuring the reader understands your main points.
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