Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railways and trams. To what extent do you agree or disagree

There is an argument whether most of the
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
budget should be allocated to the expansion of public
transportation
or should be directed to improving some infrastructures
such
as
roads
. From my point of view investing
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the foundations is more beneficial for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. To commence with, funding
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
transport infrastructures could lead to the development of road situation and
increasing
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
the number of highways,
consequently
Add a comma
consequently,
show examples
it could decrease traffic and save time and fuel.
In other words
,
poorly
Change the word
poor
show examples
maintenance of
roads
could damage vehicles and waste fuel.
Also
stucking
Verb problem
being stuck
show examples
in traffic could have
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
impact on
mental
Add an article
the mental
show examples
health of drivers and
also
Rephrase
apply
show examples
could
make
Verb problem
cause
show examples
disturbance in
delivery
Correct article usage
the delivery
show examples
and
transportation
system .
For
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
many time we
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
witness
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
some ambulances
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
waiting
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
other vehicles to give them
road
Correct article usage
a road
show examples
in heavy traffics
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
in rush hour.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
some surveys reveal more than 20% of the time
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people could waste in their daily commuting
On the other hand
, the advantages of public transport are undeniable. Improving public
transportation
not only could have
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
impact on
level
Add an article
the level
show examples
of traffic
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the main
roads
in metropolises , but
also
it could reduce air pollution. Needless to
mention
Verb problem
say
show examples
it could preserve our energy resources. To illustrate more Tehran subway transfers
near
Change the word
nearly
show examples
3
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
passengers in a day.
This
number
portraits
Replace the word
portrays
show examples
the significance of public
transportation
in the big cities. In a nutshell,
although
nobody can neglect the advantages of developing public
transportation
, spending on some country fundamentals
such
as building highways and
roads
could have more benefits in the long term for the country.
Submitted by zohmoz93 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph elaborates clearly on a single idea. For example, the discussion on the benefits of public transport could be more detailed for better comprehension.
task achievement
Avoid generalizations and provide specific evidence and examples to support your points. This will help in making your arguments more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Revise the essay to correct minor grammatical and lexical errors to improve clarity and readability. For instance, phrases like 'funding on transport infrastructures' should be revised to 'funding transport infrastructure.'
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position and discusses both sides of the argument, which is commendable.
coherence cohesion
You have a well-structured introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your essay.
task achievement
The use of relevant statistics, such as the example of Tehran subway, helps in emphasizing your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • public transport systems
  • economic growth
  • traffic congestion
  • carbon emissions
  • social equity
  • urban development
  • sustainable
  • mobility needs
  • revitalization
  • efficiency
  • safety
  • reliance
  • combatting
  • mitigating
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