IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Some people believe that parents of children who attend private schools

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Most people claim that it is not necessary for parents whose
children
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 study at private
schools
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 to pay
taxes
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 for public
schools
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.
However
Linking Words
, I partially agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement
due to
Linking Words
 a number of reasons.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, it would be fair to reduce
taxes
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 for
families
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 who pay for private education for a variety of reasons. First of all,
such
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 parents have to pay more for their
children
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’s studies compared to
families
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 whose
children
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 attend state
schools
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. In our country,
for instance
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, the average
amount
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 of expense for a child to be educated costs approximately 2 million sums which makes up almost half of parents’ salaries.
That is
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 why the government should take
this
Linking Words
 matter into consideration
as well as
Linking Words
 eliminate
taxes
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 for these kinds of
families
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 by reducing the total
amount
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 of their
taxes
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.
In addition
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 to
this
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, private
schools
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 ought to provide their schoolchildren with scholarships in order to cover their school payments.
On the other hand
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, reducing
taxes
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 for
such
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 kinds of
families
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 can cause a number of drawbacks. At
first,
Linking Words
calculating the correct
amount
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 of tax reduction for these
families
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 is much more challenging
as well as
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this
Linking Words
 complex process requires extra staff like accountants, economists and many more to fulfil.
Secondly
Linking Words
, we are all willing to pay a particular
amount
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 of tax for public services which we rarely use
such
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 as fire brigade or emergency services.
Finally
Linking Words
, if a tax reduction were given to wealthy
families
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 whose
children
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 attend private
schools
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, there would be
such
Linking Words
 kind of situation where poorer
families
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 pay higher
taxes
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 compared to rich ones. In conclusion, every family should be glad to share a part of their wages for public school systems even if their
children
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 study at private
schools
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.

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coherence and cohesion
Provide clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to enhance logical flow and transitions between ideas.
task achievement
Expand on examples given to better illustrate your points and to showcase the implications of tax reductions.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states your position and outlines your argument, which is a strong start.
coherence and cohesion
You present both sides of the argument, which demonstrates critical thinking and the ability to consider multiple perspectives.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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