Childhood obesity is becoming a serious problem in many countries. Explain the main causes and effects of this problem, and suggest some possible solutions.
It is universally accepted that fast
food
consuming
becomes the main trouble in the lives of the Replace the word
consumption
individuals
who are living in the 21st century which can lead to enhancing the risk
of obesity
and have dangerous long-term consequenses
,especially when it comes to adolescents and youngsters.Correct your spelling
consequences
This
essay will examine causes
of weight gain,Correct article usage
the causes
effects
and possible solutions.
One of the main causes is children tend to consume unhealthy Correct pronoun usage
its effects
meals
due to
their mouth-watering and appetizing tastes which provide them with pleasurable sensations.Furthermore
,they ingest ready meals
with reinforced amounts of mayonnaise,salt
which retain water in the body.Another reason is the lack of Correct word choice
and salt
exercises
in Fix the agreement mistake
exercise
daily
routine of young Add an article
the daily
individuals
due to
contemporary technologies which give them the opportunity to move less.The hird
circumstance which can lead to Correct your spelling
third
existence
of serious health concerns is spending plenty of time online on social media and other platforms for playing games.To cite an example, in my medical Add an article
the existence
university
I Add a comma
university,
have
observed a 10-year-old boy who suffered from Unnecessary verb
apply
obesity
and type-2 diabetes.When I asked him what nourishments he had consumed in daily life, he said that his parents had provided him with ready meals
from fast food
restaurants in order to not waste time for
cooking.
One of the primary effects of overconsuming quickly prepared ready dishes is unmodifiable changes in the human body which includes a drastic increase in blood sugar levels and type-2 diabetes. Change preposition
apply
Furthermore
, it can affect bone health and tremendously enhance the risk
of heart diseases such
as stroke and certain types of cancers.Subsequently
,overall
well-being of teenagers would be in terrible condition and they would be regular visitors Add an article
the overall
of
hospitals.Eventually, Change preposition
to
individuals
who are obese have an increased risk
of premature death in comparison with healthy people whose diet supplements do not contain of
ready Remove the preposition
apply
meals
. To give an example, scientists from the American Heart Association who examined numerous children who suffered from different stages of obesity
came up with the idea that weight gain is a major risk
factor of
cardiovascular diseases around the world.
One effective solution to ensure children behave appropriately way is to give them clear guidelines from parents and school teachers about the foods they need to eat to be physically and mentally healthy in the future.Change preposition
for
Similarly
,they need to be provided with real-life examples of fat individuals
who encounter numerous health problems which cannot be easily cured.From an early age, adolescents should be enrolled in sports clubs by supervisors or close relatives.What's more crucial nowadays is to significantly increase taxes on fast food
production.Consequently
,people will face two options: spend more on fast food
than they intended or purchase healthy,fresh fruits,vegetables
at reasonable prices.
Taking everything into consideration,Correct word choice
and vegetables
obesity
is a chronic medical condition which can cause countless obstacles that will change the routine of a person to the tough side.Individuals
of all ages should be aware of ingredients,cooking processes,additives
which are supplied to ready Correct word choice
and additives
meals
in each
fast Correct determiner usage
apply
food
restaurants.Moreover
,the government ought to impose taxes on unhealthy food
production with a view to building a robust society that can give rise to healthy citizens.Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on
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task achievement
The essay tackles the task effectively by addressing the causes, effects, and solutions for childhood obesity. However, the introduction has some minor grammatical issues which can slightly affect the clarity of the main argument.
task achievement
To enhance the task achievement, ensure that all sections flow smoothly and the points are fully elaborated. Some sentences, although meaningful, can be more concise to avoid redundancy.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure and each paragraph discusses a specific aspect of the topic. However, there is some repetitiveness and occasional jumps between ideas that can confuse the reader.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Using more varied transition words and phrases can help in this regard. Also, avoid run-on sentences which can disrupt the flow.
task achievement
The essay provides a comprehensive response with relevant examples. This strengthens the arguments and makes them more relatable.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the points discussed and offers a call to action, which is a strong way to end the essay.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...
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