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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Agree with first one apart from that some people wants to know foreign culture and history

#people #reason #language #travel #work #country #someone #first #culture #history
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Some individuals say that
people
Use synonyms
 want to learn
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
language
Use synonyms
 only for
travel
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as well as
Linking Words
 work purposes. Others state that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
people
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 could learn a
foriegn
Correct your spelling
foreign
language
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 for other purposes too. I agree with the latter point, some
people
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wants
Change the verb form
want
show examples
 to learn a foreign
language
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 to live
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
abroad
while
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 studying and
explore
Wrong verb form
exploring
show examples
 their lifestyle beside only for
job
Use synonyms
 and
travel
Use synonyms
 . Many individuals learn a foreign
language
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 for only
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job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
as well as
Linking Words
 for
travel
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 . There are numerous jobs in the market which
accepts
Correct subject-verb agreement
accept
show examples
 talented
people
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 outside
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their pool and provide a good
job
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 salary with benefits .
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
show examples
this
Linking Words
 ,
people
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 learn a new
language
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 to communicate with foreigners
while
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 travelling.
For example
Linking Words
 ,
people
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 should know
french
Capitalize word
French
show examples
 in order to get
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
jobs in
Monteral
Correct your spelling
Montreal
,Canada.
Also
Linking Words
, tourist needs to know
little
Correct article usage
a little
show examples
french
Capitalize word
French
show examples
 in order to communicate with local
people
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 because they do not understand
english
Change the capitalization
English
show examples
. Others say that
people
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 should learn a foreign
language
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 for living
puproses
Correct your spelling
purposes
 too . Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 like
lifestyle
Add an article
the lifestyle
a lifestyle
show examples
 of
foriegn
Correct your spelling
foreign
 countries so they want to enrol in a school
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 study
while
Linking Words
 living in a
foriegn
Correct your spelling
foreign
 country permanently .
For example
Linking Words
 , many immigrants
comes
Change the verb form
come
show examples
 to Canada
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 study and plan to stay here permanently because they want to adapt
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
to this
show examples
western
Capitalize word
Western
show examples
 lifestyle .
Moreover
Linking Words
 , students
also
Linking Words
 come abroad to do master's so they will have enough experience for skill jobs.
Therefore
Linking Words
 , there are so many reasons behind only
travel
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 in which
people
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 get motivated to learn a new
language
Use synonyms
. In conclusion , some say that
people
Use synonyms
 should learn
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
language
Use synonyms
 in order to do
travel
Use synonyms
 and
job
Use synonyms
 but
according to
Linking Words
 my opinion ,
people
Use synonyms
 should learn a new
language
Use synonyms
 for study purposes
as well as
Linking Words
 living standards too.
Submitted by kmlchahal97 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on creating clear paragraphs with distinct main points to improve logical structure.
task achievement
Provide more detailed and relevant examples to effectively support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your introduction and conclusion clearly mirror each other and effectively summarize the main points of your essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views as required by the task.
task achievement
Clear attempt to provide personal opinion at the end of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Transitions between ideas are generally smooth, aiding coherence.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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