Many people think cheap air travel should be encouraged because it gives ordinary people freedom to travel further. However, other thinks this leads to environmental problem, so air travel should be more expenssive in order to discourage people from having it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #air #travel #freedom #expenssive

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These days, more and more

people

are suggesting airlines

Remove the particle

apply

show examples

offer affordable fares, allowing all walks of life to

travel

abroad easily.

While

some

pople

Correct your spelling

people

are of the opinion that more

people

Wrong verb form

going

show examples

out by plane

Add a missing verb

has more

show examples

impact

Change preposition

show examples

air

pollution, increasing

air

travel

's cost is a solution to restrict

people

's movement

oversea

Correct your spelling

overseas

show examples

. The following essay will discuss both points of view and present my point of view. On one hand, the accessibility of airfare will allow the public to enhance their life experiences by visiting other countries.

This

is mostly because they obtain opportunities for education and learn about new cultures.

Futhermore

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

, the public may grow their personal development through different activities.

For example

, a man from a developing country was able to take his first international trip.

This

experience enriched his understanding of different cultures and histories, which not only made him respect the differences in viewpoints but

also

enabled him to share new insights with his relatives.

This

means that

Correct article usage

the

show examples

low cost of the flight is one of the prominent aspects of exploring adventure experiences.

On the other hand

, many others are opposed and believe that inexpensive

air

travel

contributes to environmental problems. When the

air fare

Correct your spelling

airfare

show examples

is wallet-friendly, citizens will often go on holiday abroad via

air

, which leads to increased carbon emissions and pollution. To mitigate these atmosphere

impact

Fix the agreement mistake

impacts

show examples

, they suggest that

air

travel

should be made more expensive, thereby minimizing excessive flying and reducing the

overall

environmental footprint.

However

, I disagree with their opinion because research has shown that planes only account for 2

percent

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per cent

show examples

of gas emissions each year.

As a result

, there are still many

any

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

other sectors that

give

Verb problem

have

show examples

a greater impact on environmental damage. In conclusion, affordable

airlines price

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airline prices

show examples

can be more

advantages

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advantageous

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in helping many

people

to achieve their dreams of exploring around the world, and

environment

Correct article usage

the environment

show examples

will not be significantly

damage

Wrong verb form

damaged

show examples

just because the frequency of flying is higher.

Submitted by writewritingsc on Mon Jul 29 2024

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coherence cohesion

Work on improving sentence structure and grammar to avoid minor errors, such as 'restricted people's movement' instead of 'restrict people's movement' and 'atmosphere impact' instead of 'environmental impact.'

task achievement

Add more specific examples and detailed explanations to enhance the support for your main points. For instance, mention specific locations or real-life cases where cheap air travel has made a significant impact.

task achievement

You have clearly addressed both viewpoints of the topic and provided a coherent opinion.

coherence cohesion

Good effort in providing a balanced discussion with relevant points in both parts of the essay.

introduction conclusion present

Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

322 words

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