Many people think cheap air travel should be encouraged because it gives ordinary people freedom to travel further. However, other thinks this leads to environmental problem, so air travel should be more expenssive in order to discourage people from having it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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These days, more and more
people
are suggesting airlines
to
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apply
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offer affordable fares, allowing all walks of life to
travel
abroad easily.
While
some
pople
Correct your spelling
people
are of the opinion that more
people
go
Wrong verb form
going
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out by plane
more
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has more
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impact
in
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on
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air
pollution, increasing
air
travel
's cost is a solution to restrict
people
's movement
oversea
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overseas
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. The following essay will discuss both points of view and present my point of view. On one hand, the accessibility of airfare will allow the public to enhance their life experiences by visiting other countries.
This
is mostly because they obtain opportunities for education and learn about new cultures.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, the public may grow their personal development through different activities.
For example
, a man from a developing country was able to take his first international trip.
This
experience enriched his understanding of different cultures and histories, which not only made him respect the differences in viewpoints but
also
enabled him to share new insights with his relatives.
This
means that
a
Correct article usage
the
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low cost of the flight is one of the prominent aspects of exploring adventure experiences.
On the other hand
, many others are opposed and believe that inexpensive
air
travel
contributes to environmental problems. When the
air fare
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airfare
show examples
is wallet-friendly, citizens will often go on holiday abroad via
air
, which leads to increased carbon emissions and pollution. To mitigate these atmosphere
impact
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impacts
show examples
, they suggest that
air
travel
should be made more expensive, thereby minimizing excessive flying and reducing the
overall
environmental footprint.
However
, I disagree with their opinion because research has shown that planes only account for 2
percent
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per cent
show examples
of gas emissions each year.
As a result
, there are still many
any
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apply
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other sectors that
give
Verb problem
have
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a greater impact on environmental damage. In conclusion, affordable
airlines price
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airline prices
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can be more
advantages
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advantageous
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in helping many
people
to achieve their dreams of exploring around the world, and
environment
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the environment
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will not be significantly
damage
Wrong verb form
damaged
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just because the frequency of flying is higher.
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coherence cohesion
Work on improving sentence structure and grammar to avoid minor errors, such as 'restricted people's movement' instead of 'restrict people's movement' and 'atmosphere impact' instead of 'environmental impact.'
task achievement
Add more specific examples and detailed explanations to enhance the support for your main points. For instance, mention specific locations or real-life cases where cheap air travel has made a significant impact.
task achievement
You have clearly addressed both viewpoints of the topic and provided a coherent opinion.
coherence cohesion
Good effort in providing a balanced discussion with relevant points in both parts of the essay.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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