Many people think cheap air travel should be encouraged because it gives ordinary people freedom to travel further. However, other thinks this leads to environmental problem, so air travel should be more expenssive in order to discourage people from having it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
These days, more and more
people
are suggesting airlines to
offer affordable fares, allowing all walks of life to Remove the particle
apply
travel
abroad easily. While
some pople
are of the opinion that more Correct your spelling
people
people
go
out by plane Wrong verb form
going
more
impact Add a missing verb
has more
in
Change preposition
on
air
pollution, increasing air
travel
's cost is a solution to restrict people
's movement oversea
. The following essay will discuss both points of view and present my point of view.
On one hand, the accessibility of airfare will allow the public to enhance their life experiences by visiting other countries. Correct your spelling
overseas
This
is mostly because they obtain opportunities for education and learn about new cultures. Futhermore
, the public may grow their personal development through different activities. Correct your spelling
Furthermore
For example
, a man from a developing country was able to take his first international trip. This
experience enriched his understanding of different cultures and histories, which not only made him respect the differences in viewpoints but also
enabled him to share new insights with his relatives.
This
means that a
low cost of the flight is one of the prominent aspects of exploring adventure experiences.
Correct article usage
the
On the other hand
, many others are opposed and believe that inexpensive air
travel
contributes to environmental problems. When the air fare
is wallet-friendly, citizens will often go on holiday abroad via Correct your spelling
airfare
air
, which leads to increased carbon emissions and pollution. To mitigate these atmosphere impact
, they suggest that Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
air
travel
should be made more expensive, thereby minimizing excessive flying and reducing the overall
environmental footprint. However
, I disagree with their opinion because research has shown that planes only account for 2 percent
of gas emissions each year. Change the spelling
per cent
As a result
, there are still many any
other sectors that Correct quantifier usage
apply
give
a greater impact on environmental damage.
In conclusion, affordable Verb problem
have
airlines price
can be more Fix the agreement mistake
airline prices
advantages
in helping many Replace the word
advantageous
people
to achieve their dreams of exploring around the world, and environment
will not be significantly Correct article usage
the environment
damage
just because the frequency of flying is higher.Wrong verb form
damaged
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coherence cohesion
Work on improving sentence structure and grammar to avoid minor errors, such as 'restricted people's movement' instead of 'restrict people's movement' and 'atmosphere impact' instead of 'environmental impact.'
task achievement
Add more specific examples and detailed explanations to enhance the support for your main points. For instance, mention specific locations or real-life cases where cheap air travel has made a significant impact.
task achievement
You have clearly addressed both viewpoints of the topic and provided a coherent opinion.
coherence cohesion
Good effort in providing a balanced discussion with relevant points in both parts of the essay.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates your opinion.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example