Some people feel that the responsibility for providing education should be borne only by the government and that private education should be banned. What are the main advantages of banning private education? Are there any circumstances ehre private education should be allowed? What is your own opinion on the matter?

It is a well-known fact that
education
has been the most essential in
people
's lives throughout history. Nowadays, it is provided by both public and private
schools
. Some
people
feel that the responsibility for providing
education
should be held up by the government and private studies should be banned.
However
, there are circumstances where the private school should be encouraged. In
this
essay, we will discuss both points with relevant examples and evidence. On one hand, when educational facilities are run by the government, everyone will be able to access them. Every student will have equal opportunities to learn, as
education
provided by public
schools
is at no cost,
as a result
,
people
below the poverty line can study there for free.
In addition
to the above, if private institutes are banned, there can be a big demolition between poor and rich,
hence
this
can attributed to mixing
people
with all financial backgrounds.
On the other hand
, no one can forget the benefits of studying in a private school.
Firstly
, there are plenty of opportunities provided by private
schools
.
Furthermore
, they give a chance to the students to study abroad, providing them with scholarships,
therefore
students studying there will have more scope to shape their future.
Although
the fees and investment are high in private
schools
,
Add an article
the
a
show examples
student will have the opportunity to explore multiple resources to work on their weakness and interests.
For instance
, well-designed and well-equipped classrooms and multiple sports activities ensure that student can investigate their talent.
To conclude
, in my opinion, even though there are circumstances our world would be a better place if there were only public
schools
. There is no doubt that it is the government's responsibility to provide good
education
, so there is no need for
people
in the private sector for a better future.
Submitted by mubassirakolia78 on

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task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to support your arguments. Real-world instances can enhance the effectiveness of your points and make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences could be more clearly articulated. Consider revising for better clarity and ensuring each sentence adds value to the point being discussed.
task achievement
Avoid generic phrases such as 'there is no doubt...'. Instead, assert your argument with more confidence and specificity.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly sets up the issue and states the intention to discuss both viewpoints. This is effective in informing the reader what to expect in the essay.
logical structure
The essay is well-structured with paragraphs that signify shifts in arguments, making it easier to follow your line of thought.
supported main points
Multiple points of view are presented, showing an understanding of the topic's complexity.

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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