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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie graphs show the nutritional consistency of two dinners. Write a report to a university lecturer describing the data? summarize the information, and make a comparison. write at least 150 words.

The pie graphs show the nutritional consistency of two dinners. Write a report to a university lecturer describing the data? summarize the information, and make a comparison. write at least 150 words.
#graphs #show #consistency #two #dinners #report #university #lecturer #data #information #comparison
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The pie charts depict
an information
Remove the article
information
a piece of information
show examples
 about
nutritional
Correct article usage
the nutritional
show examples
 consistency
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 two different
kind
Change to a plural noun
kinds
show examples
 of foods. The first one is
medium
 baked
potato
 and the second one is
macaroni
.
Overall
, the
nutrion
Correct your spelling
nutrition
 of
medium
 baked
potato
nearly
Add a missing verb
is nearly
show examples
 balance. Meanwhile, carbohydrates in
macaroni
 become the most
dominated
Replace the word
dominant
show examples
nutrition
.
To begin
 with,
medium
Add an article
the medium
show examples
 baked
potato
 had
proportion
Add an article
a proportion
the proportion
show examples
 of
nutrition
 like
this
. Carbohydrates with
total
Correct article usage
a total
show examples
 amount
35
Change preposition
of 35
show examples
 per
cent
.
Then
, the second largest
nutrition
 is protein about 25 per
cent
. Other nutrients and
glocose
Correct your spelling
glucose
 have
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 percentage around 15 per
cent
.
Furthermore
, saturated fat contributes 10 per
cent
 to
nutrition
Add an article
the nutrition
show examples
 of
medium baked
Add a hyphen
medium-baked
show examples
potato
Fix the agreement mistake
potatoes
show examples
. Move to
Macaroni
, carbohydrates
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 really
dominated
Replace the word
dominant
show examples
 here with
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 52 per
cent
.
Subsequently
, slightly different with
medium
 baked
potato
, saturated fat
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
 the second rank
nutrition
 with 21 per
cent
.
Glocose
Correct your spelling
Glucose
 and protein have
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 presentation at 11 per
cent
.
Last
, other
nutrients
Fix the agreement mistake
nutrient
show examples
 content
5
Change preposition
of 5
show examples
per
cent
calculated
Add a missing verb
is calculated
show examples
 from
overall
Correct article usage
the overall
show examples
nutrition
 of
macaroni
.
Submitted by wishmeluck  on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words medium, potato, macaroni, nutrition, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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