Nowadays, more people would rather purchace food than cook at home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Recently, the development of the
foodservice
Correct your spelling
food service
show examples
and catering industry has led many people to order
instead
of cooking their own meals at home. In
this
essay, I will shed light on the pros and cons of
this
trend.
Firstly
, buying food can help people
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
their daily consumptions efficiently time. Today citizens have many
assignment
Change to a plural noun
assignments
show examples
through their
occupation
Fix the agreement mistake
occupations
show examples
, and
due to
their busy lives, it is often impossible to find time to
cook
.
For example
, office workers in downtown areas can buy breakfast on their way to work to avoid congestion.
Moreover
, using
foodservice
Correct your spelling
food service
show examples
also
allows the public to try authentic cuisines from different countries without having to visit there. To exemplify, a traditional noodle dish from Thailand,
such
as pad thai, is hard to make
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
authentically, but people can enjoy it from Thai restaurants in their own country.
As a result
, they can quench their desire in a more budget-friendly manner without spending additional time.
However
, every coin has two sides and despite all the advantages of ordering food, there are some disadvantages too. First and foremost, it can have detrimental effects on personal health. To illustrate, a man who often orders flavoured coffee beverages gained weight and was eventually until diagonis with prediabetes.
Furthermore
, they will become dependent on catering diets and will not develop the
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
to
cook
.
For instance
, students living in boarding houses always lunch at eateries or eat junk food.
Consequently
, when it is impossible to get the service they may not be able to
cook
their
on
Correct your spelling
own
show examples
meals for a solution. In conclusion,
purchase
Wrong verb form
purchasing
show examples
edibles has several
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
benefits and drawbacks. On balance,
however
, I tend to believe that
eat
Wrong verb form
eating
show examples
from outside places is the
last
alternative that
chosen
Add a missing verb
is chosen
show examples
when there are no other options, and
cook
Wrong verb form
cooking
show examples
the meals at home should be the priority.
Submitted by writewritingsc on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your essay should provide a clearer structure. While the ideas are there, organizing them more logically into paragraphs would help. Consider using one paragraph for advantages and another for disadvantages specifically.
task achievement
Be careful with small grammatical errors and ensure proper word choices. For instance, 'fulfill their daily consumptions efficiently time' should be something like 'efficiently manage their daily meal times'. Improving grammar and vocabulary can enhance clarity and comprehension.
task achievement
Your conclusion should briefly summarize both the advantages and disadvantages discussed. This will provide clearer closure and ensure that you are presenting a balanced view. Currently, it seems slightly biased towards preparing meals at home without an equal emphasis on the earlier discussed pros of buying food.
task achievement
You have presented both advantages and disadvantages of the trend, which demonstrates your understanding of the task and gives a balanced discussion.
task achievement
The use of specific examples like pad thai and the office worker example strengthens your points and adds relevance to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction which sets the stage for what the essay will discuss, and this is crucial for guiding the reader.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: