Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Many
people
these days debate over whether improving your work quality or pretty privilage
and money will help you to get a better Correct your spelling
privilege
life
. Althought
some Correct your spelling
Although
people
think that appearance and money play the
key role in your Correct article usage
a
life
I still opine that hard work and determination will be your ticket for
success.
Change preposition
to
According to
some people
a Add a comma
people,
good looking
face or your bank balance are the main factors for Add a hyphen
good-looking
successful
Add an article
a successful
life
. It is asumed
by them that Correct your spelling
assumed
people
who have even one of theese
two are Correct your spelling
these
treared
better in society Correct your spelling
treated
therefore
theese
Correct your spelling
these
people
are more likely to be confident and enjoy their life
. People
who suite
beauty Correct your spelling
suit
standarts
Correct your spelling
standards
tending
to Wrong verb form
tend
success
in Replace the word
succeed
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
high paid
careers like Add a hyphen
high-paid
modeling
, acting, music, etc. Change the spelling
modelling
In
addition
if you don't have to think about the cost of living you will get rid of numerous problems that others face daily.
Add a comma
addition,
However
, others, including me, believe that by working hard and improving your skills you can easly achive
Correct your spelling
easily achieve
the
Correct article usage
a
succesful
Correct your spelling
successful
life
in terms of your personal preferences. A long list of careers need
the ones who are ready to persevere. Determination as a personal trait is a road to Change the verb form
needs
sucseed
because at the very Correct your spelling
success
end
your Add a comma
end,
knowlege
is one of the only things that will be with you your entire Correct your spelling
knowledge
life
however
you can easly
lose both Correct your spelling
easily
of
your beauty and wealth.
In conclusion, considering the twists of fate , I will continue to believe that being able to rely on your Change preposition
apply
dtermination
no matter what will help you to enjoy your Correct your spelling
determination
life
fully.Submitted by zeynalli.tarana on
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cohesion
Work on minimizing spelling and grammatical errors. This will help in improving the overall clarity of your essay.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your points. This can make your argument more compelling and relatable.
coherence
Ensure your paragraphs are well-developed and stick to the main idea discussed in each paragraph.
task achievement
Instead of general statements, try to include more detail about how hard work and determination lead to success.
introduction
Your introduction clearly presents both views and states your own opinion, which is essential for this type of essay.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint and reinforces your main argument.
logical structure
You’ve made a fair attempt to discuss both perspectives, which shows your ability to understand and analyze different viewpoints.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.