Some people feel that the media should not openly share the private lives of celebrities. Q- Some people feel that the media should not openly share the private lives of celebrities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #media #lives #celebrities #q-

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Some people think that the

media

Use synonyms

should not publicly share the private lives of

celebrities

Use synonyms

. Nowadays, there are many fans

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

really want to know what they do outside their job as a

celebrity

Use synonyms

, how their relationship with their family, what they do from morning until midnight, etc. Concisely, there

Change the verb form

are

show examples

no safe spaces for

celebrities

Use synonyms

anymore. Personally, I agree with

this

Linking Words

opinion. Because

Change preposition

show examples

a basic manner, a

celebrity

Use synonyms

has their own privacy and the

media

Use synonyms

must appreciate it. Indeed,

Use synonyms

celebrity

Correct article usage

a celebrity

show examples

is someone that people can admire

Change preposition

apply

show examples

because of their achievements or

anyelse

Correct your spelling

any else

. But, just because they

are appear

Change the verb form

appear

show examples

on TV or social

media

Use synonyms

, it does not mean that people can

searching

Change the verb form

be searching

show examples

deeply about their private lives, like their family or even go to their house.

Also

Linking Words

, they can feel uncomfortable if the

media

Use synonyms

too much oversee them.

For instance

Linking Words

, there is an actress in South Korea who decided to suicide

due to

Linking Words

the

media

Use synonyms

too exposure

them

Change preposition

to them

show examples

Change preposition

Because of

show examples

this

Linking Words

, the fans know

many

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

information about their idol and eventually bullied her.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, a

celebrity

Use synonyms

Linking Words

also

Add a missing verb

is also

show examples

human and their job same as other jobs. The

media

Use synonyms

would be better to respect the

celebrities

Use synonyms

. Since the impact can lead to

deppresed

Correct your spelling

depressed

depress

Change preposition

show examples

the actresses or actors. Not only that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

Linking Words

the actresses and actors can not be themselves

due to

Linking Words

the

media

Use synonyms

always

supervise

Wrong verb form

supervising

show examples

their daily

acitivites

Correct your spelling

activities

which is not

appropiate

Correct your spelling

appropriate

. To

conlude

Correct your spelling

conclude

Use synonyms

media

Correct article usage

the media

show examples

should obey the rules to not openly all of

information

Add an article

the information

show examples

about one

celebrity

Use synonyms

. Because if they are not, the worst case is

depressed

Replace the word

depression

show examples

or suicide of the

celebrities

Use synonyms

itself

Correct pronoun usage

themselves

show examples

Submitted by wishmeluck on Mon Jul 29 2024

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task achievement

Try to elaborate further on your main points to make your essay more substantial. Provide more detailed examples and evidence to support your arguments.

task achievement

Ensure that you develop your ideas fully, making sure your points are clear and comprehensive. Providing sufficient background information and examples would help in this regard.

coherence cohesion

Work on refining your logical structure. Use more cohesive devices to link ideas smoothly within and between paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

Add more transitional phrases and conjunctions to guide the reader through your arguments smoothly, ensuring each paragraph connects well to the next.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your essay well and make your position on the topic evident.

task achievement

Your essay addresses the topic and provides relevant points to support your opinion.

coherence cohesion

You have a sensible structure with distinct paragraphs presenting different points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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Some people feel that the media should not openly share the private lives of celebrities. Q- Some people feel that the media should not openly share the private lives of celebrities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Beside a lot of advantages, some people believe that the Internet creates many problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Government Intervention in the Economy: Some people believe that governments should regulate the economy, while others argue that the economy should be allowed to regulate itself. Discuss both views and give your opinion in 250 words.

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do you think that the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In the modern world, many employees lack soft skill such as communication and working in the teams. What are the main causes of this problem? What are the effects of the lack of such skills ?