It is believed that students at schools and universities can learn better via technology rather than with teachers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The generation nowadays has become more demanding
due to
evolution
Correct article usage
the evolution
show examples
that they are in. Some
students
tend to learn through
technology
in a better
way
.
However
, there are still
students
who prefer and stick to human teachers. I, generally agree with
this
notion.
Due to
the
technology
, many
students
will choose the easiest
way
of learning which is using any
forms
Fix the agreement mistake
form
show examples
of
gadgets
Fix the agreement mistake
gadget
show examples
. It can help them to have a better performance and enhance their knowledge in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
timely medium. The government in the US has provided every public
schools
Change to a singular noun
school
show examples
a
Add the preposition
with a
show examples
laptop during
pandemic
Add an article
a pandemic
the pandemic
show examples
.
This
will serve as their
classrom
Correct your spelling
classroom
for the entire period and truly help them learn despite the adversity.
However
,
technology
cannot replace human nature. In
this
way
, many parents argue that there are more human teachers
can
Correct pronoun usage
who can
show examples
provide and teach
students
than the gadgets
itself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
. In the Philippines, the importance of morality is much more different than the others. These countries will rely on utilizing the capabilities of teachers
inspite
Correct your spelling
in spite
of the massive usage of
technology
. Apart from
it
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
, citizens who reside in poor areas tend to use the traditional
way
of teaching and learning. Schools in these places cannot provide the functions of modern
medium
Fix the agreement mistake
mediums
show examples
such
as gadgets in the field of education.
This
will
result
Add the preposition
result in
result from
show examples
the officials
to spend
Change the verb form
spending
show examples
the
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
show examples
in
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
effective and
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
cheaper
way
of imposing lessons to the
students
.
To conclude
, changes in education
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
rampant in every country in the world. But,
Correct article usage
the govnernment
show examples
govnernment
Correct your spelling
government
must still possess the balance in using the
technology
and maintaining the manpower for an effective result. Both of these aspects can be beneficial in educating the younger generation.
Submitted by dhowardjacob on

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coherence cohesion
Consider organizing your ideas more systematically. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea and support it with detailed examples and explanations.
task achievement
Some points are clearly made, but others require more development. Ensure that each point is fully explained and supported with specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Be careful with word choice and sentence structure to maintain clarity. For example, 'a timely medium' could be rephrased for better understanding.
task achievement
Check for grammatical mistakes and improve overall language accuracy. For instance, 'inspite' should be 'in spite' and 'govnernment' should be 'government'.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion is strong, but try to summarize key points from your essay to make it even more impactful.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view and addresses both sides of the argument, which shows a good level of critical thinking.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and provide a comprehensive framework for the essay.
task achievement
You have cited examples from the US and the Philippines, which adds credibility and relevance to your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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