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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Should education and healthcare be free of charge and funded by the government, or should it be the responsibility of the people to pay for these services?

#education #healthcare #charge #government #responsibility #people #services
Today, the attractiveness of a country is determined by the level and availability of
education
 and medicine in it. These two tools are key elements in the development of society, and access to quality
education
 and medicine must be guaranteed to all. I consider
this
 to be an important issue that needs to be worked out in the social structure of each
state
. In my essay, I want to present arguments in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of a free and accessible environment for citizens. One of the arguments in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of public funding for
education
 and
health
care
 is that it promotes social justice and equality of opportunity. When basic services,
such
 as
education
 and
health
care
, are provided free of charge or at affordable prices, it helps to reduce inequalities between people of different socioeconomic statuses. Another argument could be that public funding for
education
 and
health
care
 can improve public
health
 and
education
, which in turn contributes to the economic development and prosperity of the country as a whole. Investing in human capital through
education
 and
health
care
 can prove beneficial in the long run.
For example
, if a person feels the
care
 of the
state
,
then
 the level of patriotism in the country will increase.
To sum up
, the level of
education
 and
health
care
 is very important for building a democratic
state
. And these two instruments must be financed from the country’s budget
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because people pay taxes to the
state
 treasury and should benefit from it.
Submitted by samedovateacher on

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Task Achievement
Your essay successfully addresses the task by discussing both the importance of free education and healthcare, and provides clear arguments in favor of public funding. However, it would be beneficial to include specific examples or data to strengthen your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay is generally well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. To enhance coherence, consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs. For example, phrases such as 'Moreover,' 'On the other hand,' and 'In addition' can help the reader follow your argument more easily.
Introduction and Conclusion Present
The introduction is clear and presents the main topic effectively, setting the stage for the subsequent arguments.
Logical Structure
Your arguments are logically structured, each point flows well to the next. This makes your essay easy to follow and understand.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • equity
  • social justice
  • economic benefits
  • productive workforce
  • quality of life
  • social mobility
  • personal responsibility
  • overuse
  • inefficiencies
  • feasibility
  • implementation challenges
  • sustainable funding
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