Every country has poor people and every country has different ways of dealing with the poor. What are some of the reasons for world poverty? How can the poor be helped?

There are many causes of global poverty, and they are usually related to socio-economic factors,
such
as the unequal distribution of resources, conflicts and wars, low levels of education, etc.
However
, I believe that the main two
problems
are corruption and the reluctance of leaders to really address the
problem
of poverty.
First,
if efforts are made to fight corruption, many of the state's economic
problems
will
solve
Wrong verb form
be solved
show examples
themselves.
For example
, on the money that a representative of the state “got” from the country's budget for
him
Change the pronoun
his
show examples
wallet, it is possible to build a chicken farm, which, in turn, will provide
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
with jobs, food for
population
and food for exports. And
this
,
accordingly
, will bring growth to the state's economy.
Secondly
, more of the world's poor people live in countries where dictatorships exist.
Such
as North Korea. When a country's leader
became
Wrong verb form
becomes
show examples
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
in power for a long time - his ideas become
Correct article usage
a crazer
show examples
crazer
Correct your spelling
crazier
craze
. Because of
this
, the
population
becomes poorer and dangerous. Begins the search for enemies. The authorities begin to fear their own
population
,
propaganda
Correct word choice
and propaganda
show examples
is turned on, which broadcasts that the
problem
of everything is the
neighbor
Change the spelling
neighbour
show examples
. In order to solve the
problem
, it is necessary to destroy it. Society begins to militarize, which creates a danger of war for
neighboring
Change the spelling
neighbouring
show examples
states. Other countries may suffer as well.
To conclude
,
due to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
if we decide
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
above
problems
, the world will be more socially sustainable, and the
problem
of poverty will disappear. But, as we can see, the leaders of countries prefer not to notice the main world
problems
, and to create and hide behind secondary tasks.
Submitted by samedovateacher on

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coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure, consider using more connectors and transitional phrases to link your ideas smoothly.
task achievement
Ensure that all your ideas are fully developed and supported with specific examples or evidence.
coherence cohesion
Avoid informal language and phrases to maintain a formal tone throughout the essay.
task achievement
You have clearly addressed the task and provided a response to both parts of the question.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which helps frame your arguments well.
task achievement
You have identified two main points and discussed them adequately.

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