In many places, new homes are needed but the only space available for building them is in the country side. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this

Urbanization helps every country's economy to rise. For
this
matter, new places must be vacated with new
homes
such
as those in the countryside.
However
, some
argues
Change the verb form
argue
show examples
that leaving the countryside free from urban
homes
saves the environment.
Due to
the economy, it is likely for the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
to keep it on a higher level.
This
will lead them to eagerly build more projects including commercial buildings, factories and massive areas for divisioned
homes
. A governor in the Philippines named Manny Villar is a politician and at the same time a businessman. He is more mindful
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
the country's income rate neglecting and ignoring the harmful effects
to
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on
show examples
the environment.
This
will constantly contribute
and
Change preposition
to and
show examples
possibly alleviate the climate problem that
people
are facing now. Apart from that, some
people
think that
this
plan will more likely
serves
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serve
show examples
as a tool
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
a progressive and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
developing country. In
this
regard,
this
change might raise
people
from poverty. Politicians will
enticely
Correct your spelling
entirely
entice
convince
people
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poor areas to allow government
build
Fix the infinitive
to build
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
homes
and demolish their houses.
Hence
, the money gained from houses will be shared partly from the income.
To conclude
, these projects will destroy the environment.
However
, it
also
provides
people
a way to
better
Add an article
a better
the better
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and
easy
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easier
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life. The government will get the benefits
as well as
the
people
regardless
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
how
this
affects the climate.
Submitted by dhowardjacob on

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task achievement
While the essay addresses the core issues, the argumentation could be more developed. Try to add more specific examples and elaborate further on your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your paragraphs are more cohesive. Use transitional phrases to improve flow and make the essay easier to follow.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly sets up the essay's main debate about urban development vs. environmental protection.
task achievement
You have included relevant examples, such as mentioning Manny Villar, to support your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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