IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

You are planning a two-week vacation, and need someone to take care of your house while you are away. Write a letter to your neigbour. In your letter: tell your neighbour that you are going away ask your neighbour to take care of your house for you explain what task you would like your neighbour to do

#vacation #someone #care #house #neigbour #neighbour
Dear neighbour. I told you before, our family have a plan that we
going
Wrong verb form
go
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to
Change preposition
on
show examples
holiday
Add an article
a holiday
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 trip to South Korea for two weeks.
This
 travel a short term, only we have enough time for winter break of my kids. We will be absent
during
Change preposition
for
show examples
 half
month
Correct article usage
a month
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. So I would like to ask you to take care
my
Change preposition
of my
show examples
 house. The
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
 is a little similar to your home. We will swich off the some equipments,
such
 as TV, freezer, washing machine, e.t.c. and I can closed all of the windows and curtains.
However
, here still
left
Verb problem
apply
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connected
the
Change preposition
to the
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 internet. because our outside camera should
be work
Change the verb form
be working
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 for online. More
important
Replace the word
importantly
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, there are
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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so many live plants, especially my lovely flowers. I am worrying
to
Change preposition
about
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 them. in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fact, I want to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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water my plants
each
Change the determiner
every
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 five days. Obviously, you should come
my
Change preposition
to my
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 home at least three times.The door has
electron
Correct article usage
an electron
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 lock, I have
sending
Wrong verb form
sent
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 you the
four digit
Add a hyphen
four-digit
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 number for
text
Add an article
a text
the text
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 message. Of course, If you need a car, I keep
the
Remove the article
apply
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my
mersedes
Correct your spelling
Mercedes
benz
Change the capitalization
Benz
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 in the garage.The key
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
car
Add an article
a car
the car
show examples
left
Add a missing verb
was left
show examples
 on the shelf in the garage. I hope, you can do it, Thank you Sincerely.
Submitted by nbogey777 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider organizing your letter into clearer paragraphs. For example, one paragraph can be used to explain that you are going away, another to ask for the favor, and a third to specify the tasks.
task achievement
I noticed some grammar and spelling errors. Try to proofread your letter to catch things like 'mersedes benz' instead of 'Mercedes Benz' and 'I can closed' instead of 'I can close.'
suitable writing tone
Your letter is polite and maintains a friendly tone, which is appropriate for the task.
complete response
You provide clear instructions on what tasks your neighbor should do, which helps achieve the task response.
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