IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

#countries #home #people #be #case #situation
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In other nations, it is perceived by some individuals, as vital to be an owner of a
home
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of renting
one
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is so because when a
house
Use synonyms
in
Add a missing verb
is in
show examples
one
Use synonyms
's name, they can do whatever they want with it and they do not have any fear of it, of being sold. In my view, I think
this
Linking Words
 is a positive situation. On the
one
Use synonyms
 hand, it is paramount for
one
Use synonyms
 to own their
home
Use synonyms
than
Rephrase
rather than
show examples
renting
Wrong verb form
rent
show examples
 because they can do renovations on it without having to contact or ask anyone if they should
do
Verb problem
make
show examples
 changes or not.
Further
Linking Words
, if the
house
Use synonyms
 is being rented, the owner can come anytime and claim it back or may decide to sell it or give it to their child.
For example
Linking Words
, a couple in Kenya
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 rented a big
double story
Add a hyphen
double-story
show examples
house
Use synonyms
 for about twenty years.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they made big changes
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 it as if it
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 their own.
One
Use synonyms
 day, when they were relaxing, the owner came and told them that he had sold it to another person and they needed to move after 3 months. Owning
one
Use synonyms
's
house
Use synonyms
 is a great move. A
house
Use synonyms
 is
one
Use synonyms
 big asset that can be sold and
one
Use synonyms
 can make more money out of it. It can be given away as an inheritance. Moreso, when
one
Use synonyms
 owns a
home
Use synonyms
, they can renovate it anytime without worrying as to who will say what.
Additionally
Linking Words
, obviously will have title deeds to the
house
Use synonyms
, which will enable them to even borrow money from the bank if they so wish.
For instance
Linking Words
, title deeds are used by many to borrow
monies
Correct your spelling
money
show examples
 to buy more houses or
another asset
Fix the agreement mistake
other assets
show examples
.
Hence
Linking Words
, it is vital to own a
home
Use synonyms
 than to rent. In conclusion, having a
home
Use synonyms
 as your own is better than paying rent for a
house
Use synonyms
 because
they
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
 are many advantages
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 owning a
house
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of renting same.
Submitted by pncubeterera on

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coherence cohesion
Try to avoid repetition and be more concise in your writing. It helps to make your essay clearer and more coherent.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the use of appropriate and varied vocabulary to avoid repetition, which can enhance the clarity and engagement value of your essay.
task achievement
Expand on some of your points to provide a more in-depth analysis. This can help in showcasing a broader understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear and logical structure with an introduction, main body, and conclusion, which is essential for a cohesive essay.
task achievement
The examples provided are relevant and help to illustrate your points effectively. Well done!
task achievement
You provided a complete response to the prompt, addressing both the reasons for the importance of homeownership and your stance on it.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
What to do next:
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