IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The internet has vastly increased our access to information. To what extent do you think this is a good thing? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Use synonyms
Internet
Add an article
The Internet
show examples
 undoubtedly transformed the way we
access
Use synonyms
 the
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 development has numerous
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
, it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
present
Correct subject-verb agreement
presents
show examples
 certain challenges. In my opinion, the advantages of increased
access
Use synonyms
Change preposition
to informations
show examples
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 significantly outweigh than disadvantages, user navigate the resources wisely. One of the primary
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
for
Add a missing verb
is for
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 from remote
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
.
People
Use synonyms
able
Add a missing verb
are able
show examples
 to
access
Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
,
Use synonyms
news
Correct word choice
and news
show examples
, and connect to
outside
Add an article
the outside
show examples
 world.
Student
Fix the agreement mistake
Students
show examples
able
Add a missing verb
are able
show examples
 to
access
Use synonyms
 learning material and get
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
 quality of
educations
Fix the agreement mistake
education
show examples
 as same as
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 who live in urban
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
able
Add a missing verb
are able
show examples
 to develop their skills through online courses for professional
developments
Fix the agreement mistake
development
show examples
. Recently many
website
Fix the agreement mistake
websites
show examples
 and
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
 offered online courses and virtual workshops.
Thus
Linking Words
, individual who want to pursue formal and informal education to support their career in certain
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, an accountant can learn new skills
such
Linking Words
 as accounting
forensic
Replace the word
forensics
show examples
 and financial
analyst
Replace the word
analysis
show examples
 through online courses offered by reputable
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
access
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
information
Change preposition
to information
show examples
 empowers
people
Use synonyms
 to take control
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their career growth. And
people
Use synonyms
 have
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
 to get
quality
Correct article usage
a quality
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
education. Despite the
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
, the open
information
Use synonyms
 can be overwhelming. Some challenges might
happend
Correct your spelling
happen
happened
for instance
Linking Words
 misinformation, fake
news
Use synonyms
 and fraud through the
internet
Use synonyms
.
User
Fix the agreement mistake
Users
show examples
 must be wise and develop critical thinking over the
news
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
internet
Use synonyms
. To combat
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 issues,
people
Use synonyms
 should
educate
Wrong verb form
be educated
show examples
 to use reliable resources and enhance critical thinking by
spread
Wrong verb form
spreading
show examples
 real
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information
Use synonyms
. So
people
Use synonyms
well-informed
Add a missing verb
are well-informed
show examples
 which fake and actual
news
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I believe increasing
access
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
information
Change preposition
to information
show examples
 through
Use synonyms
Add an article
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 is a good thing. Despite some
challenging
Replace the word
challenges
show examples
might
Correct pronoun usage
that might
show examples
 be faced, we should embrace
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 and become wise
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To improve clarity and coherence, work on organization of ideas within paragraphs. Each paragraph should discuss a single main idea in a more structured manner. For instance, combining and refining ideas related to access to education and skill development can make your argument more cohesive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph topic sentence clearly states the main point. This sets the stage for the reader and provides a clear guide to the main idea discussed in that paragraph. Improving paragraph structure with clear starting points helps maintain logical flow.
task achievement
There are several grammatical and language errors that could be improved. For instance, correct errors like 'informations' to 'information,' 'benefit' to 'benefits,' etc. Moreover, paying attention to verb forms and making sure subject-verb agreement is consistent can significantly enhance clarity.
task achievement
Your essay would benefit from including more detailed and varied examples. For instance, diverse real-world applications of information access or specific instances of misinformation could strengthen your argument. More concrete examples would provide better support for your points.
introduction conclusion present
While your introduction and conclusion are generally effective, work on making them more compelling and succinct. Your conclusion should briefly restate the main points made and give a final judgment that integrates these points smoothly.
task achievement
The essay does present a clear stance on the issue, stating that the benefits outweigh the disadvantages, which clearly addresses the question.
task achievement
You have included relevant ideas, such as access to education and professional development, which are pertinent to the topic.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, rounding off the discussion and providing closure to the argument.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: