Some people think that sports involving violence, such as boxing and martial arts, should be banned from TV as well as from international sporting competitions. To what extent do you agree?

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Violence has become widespread in many parts of the world. Many people think that the main reason for
this
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is the international popularity of martial
arts
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. I partially agree with
this
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view, especially regarding its impact on
children
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. In
this
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essay, I will discuss the side effects of martial
arts
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and their advantages.
To begin
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with, boxing sports on TV can significantly impact
children
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.
Children
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have a lot of underlying energy and often imitate what they see on television. They may not have the awareness to control their reactions and distinguish right from wrong, leading to conflicts with others who are weaker.
For instance
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, some surveys in Iraqi schools have shown that boys who frequently watch boxing are more likely to engage in aggressive
behavior
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behaviour

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.
Moreover
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,
this
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sport can have psychological impacts,
such
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as desensitizing
children
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to violence.
However
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, we cannot forget that martial
arts
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also
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offer significant benefits. They are an effective method for learning
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self-defense
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self-defence

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, especially for girls.
For example
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, when a girl travels alone and faces a dangerous situation, knowing martial
arts
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can help her protect herself.
This
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not only boosts confidence but
also
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provides practical skills for
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Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

self-defense
Change the spelling
self-defence

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.
Finally
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, from my perspective,
although
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boxing and fighting sports are important and can develop special skills for some people, they should be
practiced
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practised

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responsibly. I believe martial
arts
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should be taught in schools as lessons on
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Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

self-defense
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self-defence

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rather than as violent sports to be showcased on TV.
Furthermore
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, establishing institutes that teach martial
arts
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for the purpose of
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Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

self-defense
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self-defence

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can help create a strong and confident generation.

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coherence cohesion
Try to enhance the logical flow between paragraphs to improve the overall coherence. Ensuring each paragraph clearly links to the next will strengthen the essay's logical structure.
task achievement
Incorporate more relevant and varied examples to support your points. This will make your arguments more convincing and demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Ensure to fully explore your standpoint in detail. Adding further depth to your arguments will improve the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the discussion effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized with distinct paragraphs that address different points related to the topic.
task achievement
The examples provided are relevant and help illustrate the points being made, although more variety and detail would enhance them further.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • combat sports
  • glorification of violence
  • impressionable audiences
  • cultural heritage
  • self-discipline
  • sportsmanship
  • media portrayal
  • regulatory measures
  • censorship
  • psychological impact
  • broadcasting regulations
  • watershed timing
  • advocates and opponents
  • ethical considerations
  • economic implications
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