Some people think that sports involving violence, such as boxing and martial arts, should be banned from TV as well as from international sporting competitions. To what extent do you agree?

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Violence has become widespread in many parts of the world. Many people think that the main reason for

this

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is the international popularity of martial

arts

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. I partially agree with

this

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view, especially regarding its impact on

children

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. In

this

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essay, I will discuss the side effects of martial

arts

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and their advantages.

To begin

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with, boxing sports on TV can significantly impact

children

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Children

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have a lot of underlying energy and often imitate what they see on television. They may not have the awareness to control their reactions and distinguish right from wrong, leading to conflicts with others who are weaker.

For instance

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, some surveys in Iraqi schools have shown that boys who frequently watch boxing are more likely to engage in aggressive

behavior

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behaviour

show examples

Moreover

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this

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sport can have psychological impacts,

such

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as desensitizing

children

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to violence.

However

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, we cannot forget that martial

arts

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also

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offer significant benefits. They are an effective method for learning

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self-defense

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self-defence

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, especially for girls.

For example

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, when a girl travels alone and faces a dangerous situation, knowing martial

arts

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can help her protect herself.

This

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not only boosts confidence but

also

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provides practical skills for

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self-defense

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self-defence

show examples

Finally

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, from my perspective,

although

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boxing and fighting sports are important and can develop special skills for some people, they should be

practiced

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practised

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responsibly. I believe martial

arts

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should be taught in schools as lessons on

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self-defense

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self-defence

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rather than as violent sports to be showcased on TV.

Furthermore

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, establishing institutes that teach martial

arts

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for the purpose of

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self-defense

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self-defence

show examples

can help create a strong and confident generation.

sajdeenkhalafMon Jul 29 2024

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coherence cohesion

Try to enhance the logical flow between paragraphs to improve the overall coherence. Ensuring each paragraph clearly links to the next will strengthen the essay's logical structure.

task achievement

Incorporate more relevant and varied examples to support your points. This will make your arguments more convincing and demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

task achievement

Ensure to fully explore your standpoint in detail. Adding further depth to your arguments will improve the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the discussion effectively.

coherence cohesion

The essay is generally well-organized with distinct paragraphs that address different points related to the topic.

task achievement

The examples provided are relevant and help illustrate the points being made, although more variety and detail would enhance them further.

11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

259 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

combat sports
glorification of violence
impressionable audiences
cultural heritage
self-discipline
sportsmanship
media portrayal
regulatory measures
censorship
psychological impact
broadcasting regulations
watershed timing
advocates and opponents
ethical considerations
economic implications

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Some people think that sports involving violence, such as boxing and martial arts, should be banned from TV as well as from international sporting competitions. To what extent do you agree?

Nowadays the way people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In whats has technology affected the types of relationships people make, has this become a positive or negative development ?

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.

In many countries, a financial crime involving identity theft is increasing. What are the causes of this trend, and what effects does it identity theft has on the victims involved?