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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

An increasing number of people are buying whta they need online. What are the advantages and disadvantages for both individuals and companies to shopping online?

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These days,more and more
people
Use synonyms
 are purchasing their goods
in
Change preposition
on
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 online websites.
In other words
Linking Words
,the amount of expenditure on
people
Use synonyms
's stuff in online
Use synonyms
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
 has risen dramatically.There is no doubt that there are a considerable number of
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
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 and
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
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 buying property from online networks.In
this
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 essay,I will address some benefits and drawbacks of
this
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 action for both
people
Use synonyms
 and companies. Let's begin by looking at some merits
for
Change preposition
of
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 spending money on what
people
Use synonyms
 need for individuals
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 online sites.
Firstly
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,
people
Use synonyms
 are more convenient to look for what they require and
also
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 select them from social
Use synonyms
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
.
That is
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 to say,not only do not have to individuals go to stores
for purchasing
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to purchase
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 properties,but
also
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 they can access more options
in
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on
show examples
 online websites.
Secondly
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,one benefit for
Add an article
the company
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company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
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 is that they can
achieve
Verb problem
attract
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 more
costumers
Correct your spelling
customers
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in
Change preposition
through
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 social networks rather than
their
Change preposition
in their
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 shops.Clearly,the percentage of available users
in
Change preposition
on
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 social media is significantly more than the number of
costumers
Correct your spelling
customers
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in
Change preposition
on
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streets
Correct article usage
the streets
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. Turning to the other side of the argument,buying goods from online networks has some demerits for both
people
Use synonyms
 and businesses.One of the disadvantages for
people
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 is that they may not be able to choose an appropriate size for themselves
,
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apply
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If they tend to buy some clothes.It is argued
,It
Correct your spelling
that it
 is so tough for
people
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 to select a shirt
,
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apply
show examples
when they can not assess its physical size.
Moreover
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,one of the main drawbacks of buying goods from online services for companies is that they have to compete with other online sellers,
in particular
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 in price and quality.Generally speaking,If all businesses sell their properties on social
Use synonyms
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
,the proportion of competition will increase
due to
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 the simple access to online sellers.
To conclude
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,despite the fact that purchasing properties from online
Use synonyms
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
 has some benefits for both
people
Use synonyms
 and companies
such
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 as convenience and more
costumers
Correct your spelling
customers
show examples
.It
also
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 includes some drawbacks.Take hardness for choosing and
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of opponents as examples.

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task achievement
To enhance task achievement, try to include more specific examples and detailed explanations for your points. This will make your arguments more convincing and well-rounded.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, focus on creating smooth and logical transitions between your ideas. Using linking words and phrases can help maintain a better flow.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your main points are well-supported with detailed explanations. This will improve the depth and comprehensiveness of your essay.
task achievement
You have addressed the prompt and discussed both the advantages and disadvantages of online shopping for individuals and companies.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion clearly present the topic and summarized your main points. This gives your essay a clear beginning and end.
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