Young people are more likely to be involved in car accidents, therefore the legal driving age should be raised to 22 years old. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #car #accidents #age #years

It is known that young

adult

Fix the agreement mistake

adults

show examples

lack

attention

while

driving as they are not fully focused on the road,

therefore

this

behaviour

leads them into

car

accidents

. In different

nations

Add a comma

nations,

show examples

the legal

age

of driving varies and even

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

different rules. I believe that not the driving

age

is the problem that causes

car

accidents

,but most likely their reckless

behaviour

is one of the main

factor

Change to a plural noun

factors

show examples

for

this

statement.

Firstly

, numerous countries do not let young folks behind the

car

wheel except, if they are accompanied

with

Change preposition

show examples

drivers

that have experience.

For instance

, in the United Kingdom, young people who just got their driving license are not allowed to drive alone, they can drive only if an older person is with them and has experience in driving.

As a result

this

rule

Add a comma

rule,

show examples

the number of

car

accidents

produced by young adults

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

decreased.

Therefore

, not

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

age

Correct pronoun usage

that is

show examples

the matter of

this

problem, but rather the

lack

of training.

On the other hand

, teenagers should

wait

Add the preposition

wait for

show examples

more to get their license,

due to

their

impacience

Correct your spelling

impatience

, which is not suitable on the road,

this

behaviour

made

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

consider the rise of the legal

age

for driving license in order to avoid

car

accidents

that might be

provocated

Correct your spelling

provoked

provocation

provocative

by an immature driver.

For example

, the USA is known for their young

drivers

as the legal

age

there for driving is 16 years old ,

however

, most of

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

teenagers

lack

the qualities of a good driver as

their

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

are

unexperiment

Correct your spelling

inexperienced

. In conclusion, the legal

age

for driving should be one that satisfies both sides, as

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

teenagers

lack

real-life situations which makes them

vurnerable

Correct your spelling

vulnerable

they are not fitted, yet, to become

drivers

however

, even though most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

car

accidents

are

made

Verb problem

caused

show examples

by young people,

due to

their reckless

behaviour

in traffic, not all young people behave like

this

, some of them are

also

good

drivers

Submitted by annaungureanu794 on Mon Jul 29 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Your introduction clearly states your position on the topic, but try to be more concise and directly address the essay question. Avoid overly general statements.

coherence cohesion

While your essay is structured in a way that helps the reader understand your points, you should improve the logical flow between paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence and follows a logical progression.

task response

You used specific examples from the UK and the USA, which strengthens your argument. However, ensure these examples are consistently well-explained and directly related to your main points. Also, varying your examples to include other countries or scenarios might provide more depth.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion ties back to your main argument, but work on summarizing your points more effectively and reinforcing your stance. It appears a bit weak in summarizing the essay’s key ideas.

task response

You managed to include relevant examples to support your arguments, which is essential for a higher band score.

task response

The essay addresses both sides of the argument, showing that you can understand and present multiple perspectives.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument logically.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

317 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some parents encourage their high school students to get an after-school or weekend job. Other parents cite the importance of getting good grades, discouraging their high school students from getting after- school or weekend jobs. What is your opinion or viewpoint on this subject? Use specific supporting details from your own observations, experience, or reading as you write your response
In the modern era, Inflation rates are increasing day by day and so does living expenses. The capacity of money as compared to the past for its purchasing power is degrading rapidly. To tackle this problem, some families insist their youngsters do some part-time jobs while others have the opposite opinion. I will discuss the importance of both phenomena along with my opinion.
7
band
The only way to improve road safety is to give much stricter punishments on driving offenses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Road accidents have always been a significant matter of concern, so much so that there is an idea that says the problem can only be solved by punishing driving offenders very strictly. However, I do not think this is the only solution, although it could be somewhat effective.
8
band
Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others however, say that cooperation and teamwork and skills are more important discuss both sides and give your opinion
Whilst individuals contend the notion that the primary objective of schools should be teaching kids how to be competitive with each other, others share an opposing view by claiming that soft skills bear an unparalleled importance to establishing an environment which is run by collaboration. It is my contention that for children to be successful in their future life endeavours, both of these skills are equally important and should be amended into classroom education.
7
band
Children have more and more tests and exams to do at school, sometimes starting from the age of five or six, right up until the age of 18. What are the advantages and disadvantages of making children do exams?
These days, we can see the education systems are more difficult than the previous time, so most children have to take a lot of exams nearly either 5 or 6 to 18 years old. While a lot of exams have several benefits, I still believe that cannot overshadow the drawbacks.
7.5
band
Some commentators feel that grandparents should live together with their children and grandchildren, while others say that elderly people should be encouraged to live independently. Consider the possible arguments on both sides of this debate, and reach your own conclusion.
The issue of whether grandparents should live with their extended families is partly a question of the traditions in different cultures or nationalities. However, the question of affordability also plays an increasing part, and so this debate is rather complex, as we shall see.

Young people are more likely to be involved in car accidents, therefore the legal driving age should be raised to 22 years old. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Include an introduction and conclusion

The only way to improve road safety is to give much stricter punishments on driving offenses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others however, say that cooperation and teamwork and skills are more important discuss both sides and give your opinion

Children have more and more tests and exams to do at school, sometimes starting from the age of five or six, right up until the age of 18. What are the advantages and disadvantages of making children do exams?

Some commentators feel that grandparents should live together with their children and grandchildren, while others say that elderly people should be encouraged to live independently. Consider the possible arguments on both sides of this debate, and reach your own conclusion.