Young people are more likely to be involved in car accidents, therefore the legal driving age should be raised to 22 years old. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is known that young
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
lack
Use synonyms
attention
while
Linking Words
driving as they are not fully focused on the road,
therefore
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this
Linking Words
behaviour
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leads them into
car
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accidents
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. In different
nations
Add a comma
nations,
show examples
the legal
age
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of driving varies and even
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
different rules. I believe that not the driving
age
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is the problem that causes
car
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accidents
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,but most likely their reckless
behaviour
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is one of the main
factor
Change to a plural noun
factors
show examples
for
this
Linking Words
statement.
Firstly
Linking Words
, numerous countries do not let young folks behind the
car
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wheel except, if they are accompanied
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
drivers
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that have experience.
For instance
Linking Words
, in the United Kingdom, young people who just got their driving license are not allowed to drive alone, they can drive only if an older person is with them and has experience in driving.
As a result
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of
this
Linking Words
rule
Add a comma
rule,
show examples
the number of
car
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accidents
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produced by young adults
have
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has
show examples
decreased.
Therefore
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, not
the
Correct article usage
apply
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age
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is
Correct pronoun usage
that is
show examples
the matter of
this
Linking Words
problem, but rather the
lack
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of training.
On the other hand
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, teenagers should
wait
Add the preposition
wait for
show examples
more to get their license,
due to
Linking Words
their
impacience
Correct your spelling
impatience
, which is not suitable on the road,
this
Linking Words
behaviour
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made
government
Add an article
the government
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to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
consider the rise of the legal
age
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for driving license in order to avoid
car
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accidents
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that might be
provocated
Correct your spelling
provoked
provocation
provocative
by an immature driver.
For example
Linking Words
, the USA is known for their young
drivers
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as the legal
age
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there for driving is 16 years old ,
however
Linking Words
, most of
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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teenagers
lack
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the qualities of a good driver as
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
are
unexperiment
Correct your spelling
inexperienced
. In conclusion, the legal
age
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for driving should be one that satisfies both sides, as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teenagers
lack
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real-life situations which makes them
vurnerable
Correct your spelling
vulnerable
they are not fitted, yet, to become
drivers
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,
however
Linking Words
, even though most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
car
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accidents
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are
made
Verb problem
caused
show examples
by young people,
due to
Linking Words
their reckless
behaviour
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in traffic, not all young people behave like
this
Linking Words
, some of them are
also
Linking Words
good
drivers
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Your introduction clearly states your position on the topic, but try to be more concise and directly address the essay question. Avoid overly general statements.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is structured in a way that helps the reader understand your points, you should improve the logical flow between paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence and follows a logical progression.
task response
You used specific examples from the UK and the USA, which strengthens your argument. However, ensure these examples are consistently well-explained and directly related to your main points. Also, varying your examples to include other countries or scenarios might provide more depth.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion ties back to your main argument, but work on summarizing your points more effectively and reinforcing your stance. It appears a bit weak in summarizing the essay’s key ideas.
task response
You managed to include relevant examples to support your arguments, which is essential for a higher band score.
task response
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, showing that you can understand and present multiple perspectives.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument logically.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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