IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that govements should spend money for faster public transportation , others think that there are other important priortities . Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #govements #money #transportation #priortities
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Few individuals have an opinion that authorities should invest in
faster
Correct article usage
a faster
show examples
 public
transport
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
.
while
Linking Words
 others feel that other priorities like
healthcare
Use synonyms
,
education
Use synonyms
 and defence should be top priorities of
government
Use synonyms
 spending. in my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 the former
view
Use synonyms
 is suitable for big metropolis
whereas
Linking Words
 the latter
view
Use synonyms
 is important from
Add an article
a nation
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nation
Replace the word
national
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 interest point of
view
Use synonyms
, and I will provide
opinion
Add an article
an opinion
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 in favour of
latter
Correct article usage
the latter
show examples
view
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
faster
Correct article usage
a faster
show examples
 public
transport
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 is economically viable in
economic
Add an article
the economic
an economic
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hub
Fix the agreement mistake
hubs
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 where
large
Add an article
a large
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 section of
population
Add an article
the population
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 has to use public
transport
Use synonyms
 for daily commuting.
Working
Add an article
The working
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 population has to travel from one location to another.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
road
Add an article
the road
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transport
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 is proving to be inadequate for city transportation. In
such
Linking Words
scenario
Correct article usage
a scenario
show examples
 faster transit
system
Use synonyms
 should be constructed by
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
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. To illustrate, In Cities like Tokyo,
New
Correct word choice
and New
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 York majority of
population
Add an article
the population
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 is working class and
road
Correct article usage
the road
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system
Use synonyms
 proves inadequate in terms of demand.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
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 should construct faster
transport
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
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 like metro transit systems.
However
Linking Words
, investing in
faster
Correct article usage
a faster
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transport
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 is not a good decision from the
economics
Replace the word
economic
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 point of
view
Use synonyms
. Nations have to face several challenges and sectors like
education
Use synonyms
,
healthcare
Use synonyms
 and defence should be
first
Add an article
the first
a first
show examples
 priority for development. As
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 prioritising these sectors will result in economic development at a faster pace
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
 it will help in addressing issues like unemployment, law and order and affordable
healthcare
Use synonyms
 for
general
Add an article
the general
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 public.
For example
Linking Words
, in
Canada
Add a comma
Canada,
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 authorities are providing free
education
Use synonyms
 to children and affordable
healthcare
Use synonyms
 for its citizens. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 faster transportation can solve
problem
Add an article
the problem
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 of traffic jams and road safety still
government
Use synonyms
 needs to spend funds in
top priorities
Correct your spelling
top-priority
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sector
Fix the agreement mistake
sectors
show examples
 like
healthcare
Use synonyms
,
education
Use synonyms
 and defence, which will spur
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economic development in the country. I believe that investing in faster public transportation is not an
economic
Change the adjective
economically
show examples
 viable choice.
Submitted by yash334 on

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coherence cohesion
Consider improving the logical flow between paragraphs for better coherence.
task achievement
Ensure that examples given are more detailed and specific to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Work on using a greater variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to improve the overall quality of your writing.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt effectively and presents a balanced view of both perspectives.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and serve their purposes well in the context of the essay.
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